Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ex - ghosting after wanting to try again?

9 replies

askadvice96 · 02/04/2020 17:27

Some of you may have seen my previous post where my ex said he wanted to try again then ghosted me when I confronted why he didn’t delete the girls he cheated with from his social media..

Well I left it then he replied. He actually deleted all those girls with no objections and we were getting on well again. However I then noticed he wasn’t really chatting much as it was a message every few hours and difficult to hold a conversation because of how far apart the messages were. He said he doesn’t use his phone as much now and even others had picked him up on this issue.

We carried on talking, everything was fine. We was having a general conversation on Tuesday but he never replied. Then I saw him come online twice since I sent my message so I sent him another saying I’m guessing we aren’t talking anymore. Didn’t come online since.. Yesterday I sent a message saying how he really has hurt me and would’ve been easier/less hurt if he had just told me what’s going on instead of ghosting. I also said I’d delete his number as clearly he isn’t interested etc. He has only just read it but gone offline. No reply again.

I do not understand. Why make such an effort to prove you are doing right by me - deleting and blocking those girls, getting a new number etc. To then ghost me randomly during a normal conversation? We hadn’t even argued. It makes no sense.

I have never felt so confused, hurt and worthless because of someone else’s actions. I don’t know what to do with myself. It’s genuinely made me feel so worthless, that I’m not even worth a reply.. the girl he loved and wanted to settle down and have a future with. He’s made me feel so isolated and confused by this. I’ve never felt so hurt and upset. Anyone understand why he has done this?!

OP posts:
RLEOM · 02/04/2020 19:29

He's not that into you and is probably more interested in chasing easier options. Sorry if that comes across harsh.

askadvice96 · 02/04/2020 19:32

No I appreciate honest opinions and views. He has been saying all the right things, acting the right way, all goes good then he suddenly changes. But this happens consistently, on and off and has done for weeks.

OP posts:
CuppaZa · 02/04/2020 19:34

He doesn’t like you very much. Next

EstrellaPequena · 02/04/2020 19:41

Don't give him the space to treat you like an option. A last-ditch option at that.

Block the number and delete it so you're not tempted to message. You need to block, because his type will try to hoover you back in when you stop replying and chasing them.

You're worth miles more than those crumbs he's throwing you to stroke his ego, lass.

ChristmasFluff · 03/04/2020 11:28

I remember him doing this before. This is what he does.

You are allowing this man to mess you about, to come and go as he pleases, to treat you with complete disregard, and every time he only has to use the 'L' word (such a simple word to say, whether you mean it or not) and you come trotting back to him.

He doesn't love you, because this is not how people treat those they love. That says nothing about you, it says he is a poor-quality person.

What says lots about you, and about how much you value yourself is how you react to him now. Binning and blocking is the way to raise your self-worth, not chasing him for validation. Do not make your self-worth anything to do with him, because he will always treat you poorly - not because of anything about you, but because of the sort of person he is. A user.

hellsbellsmelons · 03/04/2020 11:45

I have never felt so confused, hurt and worthless because of someone else’s actions
I hate to say it OP but this is somewhat down to you as well.
You should NEVER have given him another chance.
He has always been like this.
He is doing it again.
So what for you now?
Are you prepared to look at yourself and realise you deserve more and get him gone for good?
Or will you give more and more chances, damaging your own mental health and self-esteem!?
It's a no-brainer OP.
Stop hanging on for the crumbs he throws.
Take back control of YOUR life.
Block, ignore, delete!
No doubt we've all told you this before.
Please listen!

SybilWrites · 03/04/2020 15:28

why did you give him another chance in the first place OP? He has shown you what he's like. It's easy to say he loves you, but his actions are saying the opposite.

Walk away and stay away. You are worth more.

Glitterb · 03/04/2020 15:56

He’s not that into you and is obviously speaking to other girls.

Basically, he has done you a favour. Now stop letting him walk all over you

Aussiebean · 03/04/2020 16:45

You know he does this so why do you keep going back for more?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page