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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Grieving&livingwithaselfcentredT**t

2 replies

TheGeneralsBack · 02/04/2020 05:19

It's just the selfishness, the all about him. There's no respect. If something is done to 'help' me, it's expensive.
I have to do things his way, I just want to grieve in peace. Process all that has happened.
For comfort, I've been socially isolating which is great but he insists that he's had CV. The silence has to be broken with his noise, he has to talk all the flipping time.

It's got me thinking that I never want to go on holiday with you again, you spoil every event, you argue continuously, when I'm driving a perilous drive. It's abusive and controlling.
I'm starting to understand why elder couples in our community 'separate' by way of geography rather than divorce due to the stigma that still exists.
When I look at the men with their ailing health and the women getting on with their lives - for those lucky enough to do so, some don't get away. From the outside, it looks as though the women are heartless, but when these men were beating their wives, financial and verbally abusing them, these women may have been encouraged stay, keep the peace, placate him by the 'wiser' elders.

OP posts:
creaturcomforts · 02/04/2020 05:49

I'm so sorry that you're dealing with everything at the moment as well as grief. Yes he has no empathy or consideration! Hope you can get support from family or friends. When you need relief and a stress free place it must really hard. There's so many reasons why women stay so long, for me it was financial but wish I had done it sooner, I think the end of it was when I had an image of me still running around after my ex in old age while he sat there asleep in the chair!

TKAAHUARTG · 02/04/2020 06:40

Go on then I’ll bite, Although you might not get the responses you want.
What community?

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