Can everyone please give me there opinions on what they'd do with my marriage problem.
So the back story is we met in 2016, got married in 2018 because we wanted to start a family and as a lesbian couple we can only both go on the birth certificate if we are married if we were to use a private donor.
My wife is very into dancing so she spends 6 months of each year at dance competitions on weekends, I've never had a problem with this, it's her hobby shes done it all her life and that's her thing.
However less than 18 months into our marriage my wife came home and told me her and her friends had been discussing how good looking another girl was (fair enough she was honest about it) however it then became a problem because my wife started messaging this girl constantly, day and night even when we were lying in bed together at night she would be on her phone texting. When I picked her up on this behaviour she then started to become secretive about messaging her and accusing me of being controlling and jealous.
I asked my wife if she would back off from this "new friend" as it was causing problems in our relationship, I give her valid reasons why her behaviour was concerning me, but she told me they were just good friends and they had a very good connection and she couldnt and wouldnt pick between me her wife and this new friend.
Things escalated quickly with the screcy and we got into a fight and I basically told her I wanted her out as she wouldnt back off from this new friend to save our marriage. She seemed quite happy to up and leave and ive been left absolutely broken because I thought I'd married my soul mate.
4 weeks after she left shes been in touch asking if I think we'll ever move on because she's lonely and saying we probably made a too hasty decision of breaking up. Shes tried to apologise for her flirty nature and said she just has a flirty personality but she isn't like this with everyone...
I've told my wife I think she has an obsessive personality because I've noticed a pattern starting to occur, she obsessively text me when we first met now I feel shes turned that attention to her new friend, but she cant understand why I'm concerned about this.
shes still in constant contact with this other girl and I don't think I'll ever be able to trust her again because there has been too many lies and screcy and i won't be second best to her friend. Do you think people can change? And whether trust can be rebuilt?
What would you all have done in my position? Any questions welcome xx