Partner overreacting about self isolation ? Or is it me?

[Kazz11]

Hi guys! As I'm fighting with myslef for few days now i thought that maybe someone elses opinion can help. So situation, UK have this social distance rules and lock down right now going on, I totally get it im staying home most of the time just shopping for essencieals as less times as I can, going just work and back home, even stop going out for walks (alone) as my partner was saying I'm being stupid and should follow rules. We live close to each other is 14min drive, not another city he has a car so can travel between places, we work same place just different shifts days and nights, and he keep saying we cant see each other. We already haven't seen for 5 weeks! I'm really going crazy cos situation may last 6months even and he keep saying as long as goverment keep lock down we cant meet even if it 6months or longer. He live on his own and dont have contact with anyone who may be in risks same as me. I live with my friend but she normally hanging out with her best friend like walk in park (max 2 people at the same time still following rules) and also her partner. Honestly I'm really jealous about that , I cant imagine not seeing someone for 7 months or longer, what do you guys think. We work same place, we both key workers and have contact with hundreds other people if one person in our workplace would have virus we both would be sick, so what's the difference if we gonna see each other. He saying I'm being really irresponsible and stupid that I wanna meet with him. Am I being foolish or him cos really I'm sick of thinking about it. He keep saying how he miss me but is he? I think in our situation when we not putting anyone in danger we can hang out freely. I talked with my friends, they keep telling me he is overreacting but i dont know if they just keeping my side. HELP!

Sorry OP but he is right. I know it feels like it wouldn't do any harm, but if everyone acts like that it makes a mockery of the lockdown rules.

Really ?

Surely you've heard the news and know the rules.

He’s not that into you. Not seeing each other is a sensible decision, but calling you stupid for wanting to would be a complete turn off for me.

He’s just not that into you

Your flat mate is not following the rules at all you can’t meet up with anyone from a different household ffs. Carry on as you are and stick to the rules there really aren’t any grey areas. There will be many relationships sadly that don’t last the distance but nothing worth dying for.

I live with my friend but she normally hanging out with her best friend like walk in park (max 2 people at the same time still following rules) and also her partner

Your friend is not following the rules at all. None of that is allowed.

"Why haven't you see each other for 5 weeks? These rules have been in place for less than 2."

I belive one weeknd I was spending with my friends. Others I'm not really sure we were working quite a lot, different shifts days and nights sometimes is hard to catch up. For sure we could meet even for couple of hours, but when I'm thinking about it now cant see proper reason why

He is right.

I live with my friend but she normally hanging out with her best friend like walk in park (max 2 people at the same time still following rules) and also her partner.

This is crazy! Does she not understand that households shouldn’t be mixing?! It’s not the case that if you only meet up with one other person then it’s fine!!

You either move in together or stay apart, that's the rules.

He is keeping you at arm's length, not just physically but emotionally.

Your gut is telling you that he doesn't really care about you.

Read WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH by Robin Norwood, which has a lot of useful insights about women who overinvest in men who are only doing the bare minimum to keep a relationship going.

Thank you all guys for sharing your thought

If you could maybe explain to us why the rules for everyone else don’t apply to you then perhaps I could understand your position a little better.

He's right and your flatmate is an idiot.

You work together in the same hospital

You could meet up for coffee at the beginning of your shift or after

You work with hundreds of different people

I don't think he is that into you

I would cut your losses and move on

How long have you been together?

@Makeitgoaway No it's not allowed.

You are the one being unreasonable.

So one of you picks it up. You then spread it to the other who spreads it to the others working their shift, who then spread it to vulnerable people.
Ok it might go through the workforce anyway, but you would definitely be helping it to speed up the process.

I think if you didn’t see each other for a month before lock down op sadly it would indicate there is more at play here than just lock down. If you’d wished to see each other during that period you would have done. A month is a long time to not see someone you’re in a relationship with, who lives fifteen mins away and to not see each other through choice.

I think understanding why you didn’t wish to see each other for so long says more about the relationship than him complying with lock down and you not wishing to.

He is right. Please ignore people saying he isn’t into you, they have no way of knowing.

I am self isolating with my dc and my boyfriend is living on his own. We would love to see each other but both know it would be the wrong thing to do. If our relationship is strong it will last however long we are apart.

Odd then Toddler that one of the restrictions is listed as "Stopping all gatherings of more than two people in public."

My partner of 10 years lives 200 miles away due to work... he's a key worker in the NHS. As of today I've not seen him in 2 months and have accepted it will probably be June at the earliest before I see him again.

No one is exempt from the lock down.

I agree with MMmomDD, he's distancing himself from you too. He must be doing that otherwise he'd make you feel wanted and missed in other ways. He's not doing that.

Regardless of the lockdown, nobody is vetoing extra calls, skypes, cards, texts, any sort of non-physical contact. He is though.

Keep the distance and work out how to manage without him so that when this government-imposed distancing is over, you'll be strong enough to call it a day.

@Makeitgoaway from the same household. People from different households are NOT allowed to mix.

'You should not be meeting friends. If your friends ask you to meet, you should say No. You should not be meeting family members who do not live in your home'

But only groups of more than two from different households are banned, which suggests groups of 2 are Ok?

I agree it's not clear and the rules do seem to contradict themselves but a group of two people from different households is not banned (although may well be ill advised)

I've just read FlowerArranger's post too, missed that, it's excellent advice. OP, you already know that this isn't going anywhere. Protect your heart.

Yeah you’d move in together if he wanted it to work. Btw your flat mate is breaking the rules, you are not Supposed to Meet up with anyone from Outside your household. It’s people like your flat mate that will prolong this for everyone!