Advice

[Adv1ceplz]

I've been in a relationship for 23 yrs and have 2 sons. My partner has always been insecure and has trust issues. He doesn't trust me, although he says he does but over the years he's accused me if cheating several times. I love him and and don't want to tell him to go incase he does? I haven't cheated on him. The last time accused was 5 months ago, and this argument goes on and on. We're not arguing all the time, but it's still there. He says I brought it in when I cheated, and will not listen to anything else. I'm scared of being alone but also don't want to be like this. I want us to be together, a family and be happy. How can i make him trust and believe me?

Hiya, you cant make him believe anything.

What evidence has he that you cheated or is he just voicing his fear you will do it because of his own trust issues?

Would you consider couple counselling?

Call his bluff

Tell him you have never cheated and if he doesnt believe you, leave.

Guaranteed he won't.

Sorry but he's bullying you, up to you if you can live like that, i couldn't.

The question isn't how to make him trust you but why are you putting up with this horrible behaviour? You deserve better.

Without therapy/counselling, you can't make him trust you and believe in you. Either he does, or he doesn't.

I think he doth protest too much.
This is called projection OP.
He is judging you by his own standards here.
I think he has probably cheated on you in the past.
But that doesn't really matter.
You cannot and should not live like this.
If you have some time now so get your ducks in a row and make your exit plan.
This is abuse OP, do NOT have joint counselling with this man.

If 23 years and 2 children with a spouse who has never cheated, despite being accused of it regularly, hasn't convinced him you're faithful and in the relationship ''for the long run'', then I agree that you need to call his bluff.

Just say, ''look DH, if you can't trust me after 23 faithful years, then there's nothing to be gained by continuing to live together. So if you really believe I've cheated, there's the door......................................
If you decide to stay, you can NEVER again accuse me of cheating. This trust issue is YOUR problem, not mine. In fact, several people have suggested that you're doing it to cover up for YOUR cheating.''

No one should be repeatedly accused/ blamed for something they haven't done, so tell him it ends NOW...........or he can fuck off down the road, and then fuck off some more...........