Premature twins

[Mimilou28]

Any advice greatly appreciated:
My brother and his wife have just had twins today by emergency cesarean, three months early. It's all quite terrifying, it would be any way but especially with the Coronavirus. The babies are in ICBU and my SIL is allowed to stay in hospital for a couple of days but my brother has to go home which is heartbreaking as they can't bond with the babies or have any skin contact. I'm so upset for them and also praying the babies stay safe and continue to progress well. I'd like to get something sent to my SIL specifically for her but everything I've seen is to help new mum's after a cesarean with comfort during feeding the baby, this isn't something she'll be able to do so that's not practical and other gift ideas were to help soften stools.. ! I'd like to get something a bit luxurious but not extortionate that is irrelevant to the fact she can't be with her babies, if any has any ideas I'd be so grateful, thank you 🙏

Things I would have liked
Premature milestone cards
A baby book (you can get specific ones)
Memory box
Moisturising cream - SILs hands will get wrecked with hand washing

When my twins were in ICBU a friend brought me a set of fancy toilletries so I had something nice to wash with to take my mind of the grimness of hospital showers.

Lip balm and handcream also a godsend

Why the rush ? Why would you get something sent into a hospital currently when she will be home in a couple of days ? It's not essential !

Been there as a father (mine were 11 weeks prem) and to be honest it wasn't much hands on as they were in incubators, fed via syringe. Only after 6-8 weeks when they were out of immediate danger were we able to handle them and start to bond. Hopefully the worst of this COVID-19 will be over by then and they'll have plenty of time to forge a bond. I wish them all the best as it's a crap time for anyone to be in hospital.

Thank you for such quick responses! I'm not planning on sending anything to the hospital, I just wanted to have something sent to their home for her for when she comes back without her babies to make her feel loved as we obviously can't visit or do anything to physically support them. Thank you for the ideas of creams and lotions, that's what I was thinking of so she can pamper herself a bit and the idea of the milestone book is lovely, thank you!

My nieces were born eight weeks premature in the autumn and were put in incubators. It was touch and go whether they would survive as their lungs weren't developed properly and they weighed about three pounds each.

The hospital wanted a feeding routine established for the babies before they could go home and the push was to get them home for Christmas that year, which did happen.

They are now two loud and proud teenagers.

However, for their mum you could get her some foot lotion. Some bio oil. A shawl.

I had just one premature baby, I can't imagine the stress of having two.

Things I would have loved:

• Support from family that didn't involve me responding
• Someone to keep everyone updated for me, I didn't have time for long calls, lots of emails etc
• Home cooked food made for me
• Shopping and cleaning and laundry taken care of (difficult at moment I know)
• Someone to organise printing any photos and keepsakes in a book or box.

Everyone is different though; I had a particularly selfish husband at the time so my needs were more basic. I'm sure anything you give or can do will be appreciated and I wish your family all the best

Thank you so much, that gives me hope!

I'm so sorry for you but thank you for your ideas, very useful to know.

I had a premmie and the best gift anyone sent me was a big basket of cake. Like the ones you send to an office. When it arrived I though I would never get through a fraction of it but I did. Even with one baby somehow my body knew it had to make "gold top" to fatten her up and I was HUNGRY. I also drunk a huge amount of liquid so maybe a nice reusable bottle.

A milestone book, a fancy water bottle, pampering toiletries including a lip balm, hand and foot cream.

Yes, I should have said, ex prem is now fit and strong teenager, loud and stroppy and still adorable

It could be a long slog for them OP, and potentially quite traumatising, possibly lots of ups and downs. Listen if they need to talk. I hated platitudes when my baby was hanging onto life by a thread and probably needed to voice my sheer terror of losing him instead of bottling it all in, not sure.

PND is more common for mums of prem babies so also look out for that in future. I'm so glad they have you - you sound lovely.

A voucher for Cook or order her in some lovely groceries
Hot water bottles
Hakkas to get milk out of her boobs hand free and painless
An extension lead for her phone charger in hospital always helps to lay more comfy as not too close to socket
Some amazing smelling shower gel

I had a prem baby born when I had sepsis and he was on the 3rd centile
He's now over the 90th
He is perfect xxx

A nice reusable water bottle. A big one. I was so attached to mine that when I left it in neonatal one day, I cried. Also maybe an insulated hot drinks bottle she could grab while attached to pump/babies.

My twins were prem. I was given a lovely notebook that I used to write in while I sat between their incubators. I am not and have never been since then, a diary writer but it really helped to have something quiet and reflective to do. Each tiny bump in the road and wonderful jump are all in the book and my super healthy competitive gymnasts love earing about how they overcame so much in the early days x

A voucher for a local takeaway that is still delivering, or order a grocery shop to be delivered to their house for when they’re home/now if the father is home. With lots of essentials and some treats. Ready meals and cans of stuff that’s easy, chilli for example and microwave rice. They won’t have gotten prepared fully or be able to get out to the shops.

And a congrats card! People will be sending their commiserations but few will say congrats on your gorgeous babies, which might mean a lot to them both as it’s sad when the birth of your children has all of the joy and sadness sucked away.

Our twins were born just before 30 weeks, I can't really remember anything anyone got just me, except my parents who got nice jammies and the icbu staff who gave us lovely photos when we couldn't even touch them, and things from when they were born and we couldn't see them including dds intubation tube?!

I think nice gifts just for mum are a bit pointless when you spend all day everyday at the hospital, but I don't know your sil obviously and don't know what she would like.

The hospital will fill in a daily diary for the parents of the important things that happen, even if that's just peeing on dad.

Definitely send congratulations cards and keep in touch. I found with my prems people kept a distance and I felt very unsupported.

Hand cream, lip balm, water bottle, notebook, keepsake box. I think you can buy sets to get little hand & foot prints, photo frames.

There’ll be many long hours at the side of their incubators so the takeaway vouchers, cooked meals will be much appreciated. Also maybe a selection snacks to take to the hospital when visiting.

Lifts to the hospital might be needed too- if she’s had a c-section she won’t be driving for a while.

I had a premmie, didn't really need anything for the hospital other than industrial strength hand cream to counteract all the hand washing.

Once we got home, I really appreciated nice 'lounge wear', food deliveries of posh 'Ready made' meals like ocado, Waitrose etc

Absolutely wonderful to hear all these positive outcome stories, thank you, it's really given me hope. I don't think my brother and sister-in-law will be allowed to visit or spend time with them due to the Coronavirus so they'll be home alone without their babies. I can't imagine how awful this will be for them so will definitely look into the local takeaway option just to cheer them up a bit. Thank you all so much x