Ex claims to put our child first

[Ineedwine1]

I'm almost positive ex is still meeting up with ex through this lockdown. Normal circumstances I couldnt care less if he saw her or when. These circumstances however are different and anything that involves my sons wellbeing are my business in my eyes.
Yesterday I asked if he was going to continue seeing her. He got extremely defensive, telling me I'm not going to control him. I said it was a yes or no answer. He then blocked me.
Today had an emergency with DS medicine. I accidently dropped his bottle of meds and ex had back up so he dropped it off. He looked rather smart just to drop meds off. DS video timed him before bed. No answer from ex. Then ex rings back from the car. Says to DS he just went out to get tablets and was still at the shops.
I mean it could be possible but he was at mine 3/4 hours dropping the meds off why not get tablets then. Only thing is I have no hard evidence.
Bit of background ex was abusive when we were together. I ended up in a women's refuge. He is highly manipulative. He also lives with his elderly parents who I thought would have said something knowing their grandson is at higher risk. My ex is also always bleating on that he wouldn't do anything to hurt our DS .
We have been doing 1 week each but now I'm worried about sending DS there again. But I'll look like the bad guy which is Excatly what he wants. He plays the victim so we'll and this will be more stuff he could use against me if we were go to court. Which it is heading that way. I feel really stuck. Any advice please?

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If I were you I’d stop the contact purely due to your son being higher risk. If your ex can’t not see his partner for 3 weeks and put his son first then it’s a sad state of affairs.

His response when you asked him outright speaks volumes that he is and he will not stop seeing her.

Make it clear it’s temporary that he won’t be seeing him but allow visitation through the window or garden.

Gosh. Some people can be so selfish. The government have put these rules in place for a reason and the people that can’t go without meeting others outside the household are just prolonging it for everyone else.

Absolutely wouldn't let him go. If you feel like he is not following guidelines and therefore putting your son and therefore you at risk, then trust your gut and tell him you'll be keeping DS. He sounds like a really manipulative, selfish piece of work. So I suggest you tell him to bugger off and enjoy lockdown with your DS😊 encourage video calling and maybe visiting through the window (if you feel comfortable with him visiting your home) if DS misses his dad. Don't let him bully you into doing what you feel is not the right decision. This is only temporary and he will quite frankly have to deal with it!

Stay safe, all the best x

You have no proof your ex isn't following the rules. The Cafcass guidance on Coronavirus for separated parents doesn't say you can stop contact if you don't believe your child's other parent is observing lockdown. I think you should continue facilitating contact, unless either household is in self-isolation, as per the Cafcass guidelines.

Is your son in a high risk group?

It sounds like that his parents are at greater risk than your son. Is there a reason why he stayed so long just to drop of meds, especially when you suspect he isn’t behaving responsibly?

@agentjohnson me and DS have asthma. DS also is under respiratory peadatrics. Ex didn't stay at mine he dropped the meds off and said hi to DS and then left. What I'm saying is he could have then gone to the shop then to get these "tablets". But it was 4 hours later and he was in the car claiming to get these tablets. So in saying its highly likely after he dropped the meds at mine he went to see his gf. But took the call in his car so I wouldn't know where I was and said the tablet thing.
How can I justify it without evidence? It will be used against me I know that 100%.