I can’t stand my OH in lockdown.

[Gamboge]

He had always been miserable and moody. Marriad 3 years together 9. Tonight he will not admit to being horrible to me but says I am horrible to him. We fell out two days ago because he was going to spend the day with his mum and I said he shouldn’t due to social distancing. He went anyway. He is often withdrawn and silent if I offend him. Now I have said that I don’t think he is very nice to me and he said the same about me. I have said after Corona maybe we should split up then. He agreed. My feelings are never important and he is always the victim. He doesn’t care how I feel or how I am. I feel financially trapped and now by the virus.

Sorry to hear it. Sounds like he's got some narcissistic traits v similar to my STBEX, easily "offended", silent treatment etc. For the sake of making the best out of isolation I would prob park it for now in terms of speaking to him about it but use the time to really look inwards and see what you value and what you want and if it's worth salvaging. Stay well.

Thank you karma. It’s not as though these issues are new, just that being in isolation 24/7 is emphasising the difficulties. Not feeling cared for, my opinion not considered valid, the risk of offending him if I question anything etc. I just feel as though I can’t stand it anymore.

Use your time to properly investigate your financial situation, responsibilities and any help available.
Locate all of your important documents and information. Make sure you have ongoing access to money too.

I feel for you

Suggest he self isolates at his dm's..

Yes tell him to stay at his mums & get your ducks in a row op. Good luck!

Start looking at your options for splitting up. Do you have children?

God get rid. My ex was the silent man for 18 years and did not communicate AT ALL. I do not know how I stood it. We had no children together and I earned the most money and owned the house, should have just slung him out when he started this silent crap.
I suppose I wanted to try and salvage something because marriage means something to me.
Don't be me, don't waste your entire life on a fool like this.

Suggest he stays with his mother OP, and use this time to make a plan.

Don't waste your life on this nasty twat.

I have a teenage DC from a previous relationship. Work part time but trying to get more hours. Rents in my area are very high. He talked to me this morning, denied he was treating me badly and said he did what he did (shaming) to help me realise I had a problem. Apparently it’s all me.
I will have to park it though until life returns to normal. Thanks for the support, it helps to know my feelings are not irrational.

If you've both agreed that the marriage is over, I would use this time to contact some divorce lawyers and start to get paperwork together.

Classic line - it's not them, it's you. It is NOT you OP and you are completely rational. He has the problem, more than one by the sounds of it.

Massive abuser techniques. Use this time to get your finances sorted and leave when you get the chance

Don't worry you aren't the only one. In fact I am glad we are on lock down because I have found out he has lied to me about a new colleague
He told me it was a man they employed, but when I saw his team chat there was a female name he hadn't even mentioned. Maybe this is another thread but I'm really angry right now.