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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

NRP in shielded group - any advice on contact please?

5 replies

ATowelAndAPotato · 29/03/2020 21:09

DH has a DC from previous marriage. DC normally at our 3 nights a week and EOW. Has been with us since before lockdown as mum was poorly but now better, and due to go home this week.
DH keen to maintain usual contact but is in shielded group, and concerned about being able to effectively shield if DC are coming and going as per norms.
DC is 7 if relevant.
Aware that guideline for NRP contains say that moving DC between homes is allowed, but guideline for shielded says no visitors (is not explicit about DC under 18).
Is anyone else in this situation? Do you have any advice?
TIA

OP posts:
yummyyummycoffee · 29/03/2020 21:22

If dh's health is at risk then I would stop contact for the next two weeks as we are hitting a peak at the moment. That is if you aren't going out as well or at least being extremely cautious.

also does the other parent have childcare cover if they are working?

ATowelAndAPotato · 29/03/2020 21:48

I am having to go out as we have no-one else that can do essential shopping. Everything is wiped down with diluted bleach etc before it comes in the house, my clothes go straight in the wash and I get in the shower; we are sleeping in separate rooms, using separate bathrooms, etc.

I’m not sure if mum is back at work (she would be a key worker), her usual childcare would not be able to help at the moment, but I don’t know if she would be able to access anything through the school if she is a key worker and DH is shielded?

Perhaps DC staying with her for the next two weeks and then reviewing again is a good shout. I can drop DC to mum so transport not an issue.

OP posts:
RLEOM · 30/03/2020 01:40

It's crap but I don't think children should be moved between homes. This isn't a normal situation, people are dying in their thousands - I'd rather feelings be hurt than lives lost. Children need both parents alive and healthy.

LittleLittleLittle · 30/03/2020 14:44

I've just answered this question for someone else.

If there is a household where one person is shielded regardless of who it is, then the children stay in the household they are currently in. It is not in the children's best interests to risk losing that person especially if it is one of their parents.

CAFCASS guidelines - www.cafcass.gov.uk/grown-ups/parents-and-carers/covid-19-guidance-for-children-and-families/

ATowelAndAPotato · 30/03/2020 16:55

Thank you, that was a really useful
link. Clearly I have crap google skills!

DH spoke to DC and mum and they have come to an arrangement that all seem happy with (well, as happy as anyone can be in these circumstances); and still keeps DH as safe as poss.
Brew and Cake all round!

OP posts:
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