Found messages

[Mummy501]

I accidentally found some messages on my DHs phone (i was looking for something for the kids and was sure id sent the password for something to him via email). Anyway, there were around 8 messages, all the same message practically sent over a couple of days which all sat in the outbox of the email system. Being in the outbox, Obviously they didnt send. There was no evidence of any messages back from this person. I confronted him the following day and hes played it down “they didnt send” “maybe thats how i felt at the time” “ive done nothing wrong” and practically stayed out of my way the last two days. Am i over reacting? Hes not even said sorry, kinda just projected it back at me, hes feeling lonely etc. Been together a number of years 10+ with three kids. Advice ladies pls

what do the messages say OP ?

What did the messages say?

Stupidly i didnt screenshot them and hes deleted now but something along the lines of “ive seen you on ?adult zone (or something like that), im xx age and looking for fun” he said he was on a (?porn) website and it was on there? Hes clamming up/being defensive so its hard to get the truth

Were they from before you were together? That's the only situation where it would indicate absolutely that her did nothing wrong'. , but without knowing the content it's hard to advise.

January this year...

If they are messages sent or meant to be sent during the time you have been together then of course it is wrong.

Sorry, he’s an arsehole Does he have form?

Id like to think not but i dont really know anymore

I’m sorry OP, even if these didn’t send, you (a) have not idea if others messages due actually get sent (b) he’s visiting sites to hook up so maybe have and (c) shows intent

I’m so sorry you have found these and worse still during this lock down.

So he is defensive. His position is "i can send messages to another woman if I feel like it".

That is worryingly entitled.

What an awful time to have to deal with this. I’d make it clear you do not think it is acceptable and ‘how he felt at the time’ is not an appropriate response. Personally I’d be divorcing but it’s tricky given the circumstances!

You wont get the truth because he doesnt believe you are entitled to it. He is annoyed you believe you have a right to the truth.

@Kayde25 you’d be better off starting your own thread love

Well, he's been on an adult site trying to hook up with people, so being unfaithful or trying to be. Neither is exactly great, and his reaction is piss-poor, he's not even sorry.

I'd be looking at your options.