Not sure if this is relationship related but have nobody to talk to. Would really appreciate some advice during this time please?

[CakesRus3]

I'm a mental health nurse and I work in a memory service. Been there since September and it's my first post since qualifying. I work part time as im a single parent to 2 daughters 12 and 14. I don't have family close and they don't see there dad. My role is to carry out assessments in a clinic. I have been doing ok but have felt unsupported my my manager/preceptor. Not had one meeting or catch up since starting. I have questioned if this role will de skill me for a while. The hours fit as I can't do shifts. I'm earning money so I have carried on. My manager has had me in tears 3 times already and as I'm out of the office and work part time it's been difficult to feel part of the team.
My daughter (youngest) is struggling with this pandemic. She's a child that worries alot but I manage it ok. However, now she thinks I'm going to die as I'm a nurse. She is home with her sister as there is no school. She doesn't like it but I have no choice. Anyway my clinic is closed due to social distancing. They're now preparing me for a ward.
I know so many people have their own anxieties and I don't want to bother people but I don't know how to deal with this.
My daughter cries at night, the night before I go to work and on the morning I leave. It breaks my heart that she is scared. I am doing everything possible to calm her.
I'm in limbo at the moment in work so just doing what I'm told with no specific role as yet (they have told me it's going to be the ward next). I'm was anxious in the office as it's not an approachable atmosphere as a newly qualified so now, I'm so uncomfortable. I'm keeping my social distancing, however not everyone is listening. They want to send me on a ward of 13 that has 8 cases of covid-19 with minimal ppe. Not only does that make me anxious as I don't want to bring it home. I know there are so many brave people out there battling this with the same anxieties. I have so much respect for every single person. My other anxiety is I do not have ward experience. My manager said I probably can't do 9-5 so to spread my part time hours over the week. Meaning travelling more to a ward that is further away. She then said, who knows you might have to self isolate, hopefully you will only get mild symptoms. They know there is minimal ppe. I'm just another number for them. More or less saying I will catch this virus. I haven't told my daughter's I will be on a ward, my youngest will not settle. It's difficult now.
Right now, I feel I would be more help taking unpaid leave and volunteering where I would feel I'm doing something useful and still being there for my daughter's.
I don't even know what I'm asking. I just don't have anyone to talk to.

I'm not a nurse and really appreciate what the NHS are doing but if I were you I'd take unpaid leave

54Pinkerpellosa I feel like I'm letting the nhs down. I feel I need to do something. That's why I said about volunteering. However, I'm a single parent with a mortgage and won't get paid. Not sure how we would manage.

I'm not a nurse, I don't work in the NHS. But are you in a union ? If so speak to them. Ask if you qualify to take unpaid leave to look after your girls. That's probably the best way to go to help with your daughter's mental health . It's clearly suffering at the moment . It might also be worth a trip to the doctor's for your daughter. To talk about her anxiety. Some sort of talking therapy might help her to deal with her worries long term

You need the money so you going to have to work.
Anybody that works with people at this is going to catch the virus. As a nurse you will catch anything is going round anyways this no different.

As for your daughter.....
Sadly she will learn that mum works with people some of whom get sick . Mummy will catch the bug.

We are all going to catch it anyways.

Hi, OP, I’m not a nurse but do have some experience working on a mental health ward. Though what strikes me about your situation is that it wasn’t comfortable for you before C-19. You had a difficult relationship with your preceptor and you sound unsupported. Now you’ve been moved to a risky environment for all sorts of reasons and you are doubly anxious. You are also trying to support an anxious child. Would it help to consider what action you’d have taken if we weren’t all where we are? Maybe talking through with another line manager/your union? Can you hold that as a possibility? As it is, what happens if you are unwell? You are a single parent. If taking leave is an option, I’d do it. Some space will leave you feeling less torn, and it’ll give you room to consider what to do when we’re all able to pick up normal life again.

Thankyou :)
18Craftycorvid very uncomfortable and questioned my role alot. Before this, I had been looking for other jobs. It's difficult to find the hours. Just kept preserving. I manage my daughter's anxiety well, i think anyway. Its just heightened due to what is going on and changes. I would definitely consider services if I needed it. My line manager is the one who is approachable. It's a very small team and at the moment the bigger bosses (not that I know them) are all very busy and probably not interested in my anxieties compared to others that are on the front line and understandably so. I can find out about a union. I did try and speak to my manager about my concerns being a single parent.
I'm not sure I'd be entitled to pay if I'm taking time off. I have to face going back then. I'm not sure how they would feel about me leaving the service at this time. Thankyou for your advice. Hope you are all keeping well.