Hubby has turned nasty since we've had a child with additional needs

[FireUnicorn]

Evening I'm a mum to 5 children 13 year old twins, nearly 9 year old, 5 year old and 3 year old. I have been with my partner for 15 years and married for 9 years.

Our 5 year old son has additional needs and so far has been diagnosed with GDD we are waiting on other test are they aren't 100% sure on what he might have. His speech is very limited, he is unsteady on his feet, still isn't toilet trained and doesn't sleep much.

Since finding out our son has additional needs my husband has turned really nasty towards the children and my self he doesn't understand our 5 year old and gets really frustrated at him although he's had help and explained about his needs.

He also take his anger out on the older children and if they do anything he doesn't like he will shout at them till they are pretty much crying, then will ground then and take away something or stops them doing there sports activities, he can loose it over little things like them taking to loudly or the misbehaving. I can't discipline them as mine isn't good enough.

He hardly helps me look after the children anymore and it's really getting me down. He won't help with bathing, dressing or changing nappies. Although he used to do it when they was younger!

Our youngest son is a bit off a handful very hyper independent little boy going through a stage off wanting to do everything himself and is into everything.This really annoys hubby and my 3 year old if forever being put on the time our spot which leads to a huge battle as he won't stay and hubby will hold him there.

Sorry its turning out long I think I've got lost off it out! Has anyone been through this?

Sounds awful. Your oh is being a complete arse and not stepping up to the plate. To be a tiny bit generous could there be some kind of grief and anger reaction going on to the diagnosis? His child is not what his child is supposed to be. Parenting is hard enough when they're all fit and healthy. He is coping very badly and stupidly with this but might be worth asking him to go and talk to a health professional about it.

He has frustration and anger issues and he needs appropriate professional help. Soon.

It will be expensive but it will save your family.

I think you should consider divorcing him. Its important to protect your children from his anger.

Please consider professional mental health support for him and counselling for you both before divorce. It will be cheaper in the long run and ultimately happier for you all to be together.

But yes, you can’t continue as is.

Thank you

You need to protect the children. They deserve a safe and peaceful home environment. If he can’t cope, he leaves and gets help. This is not ok!

My ex husband was exactly like this towards our son, although we only have the 1 child.
Our son is autistic and my ex husband couldn't cope, he would leave everything to me and lock himself in the garage to get away from us for hours at a time...sometimes the whole day.
I had to divorce him in the end, my son is much happier now he isn't around the negative atmosphere, it's made a huge difference x