He didn't ghost me, he died.

[TrudysTerribleFringe]

I read threads on here all the time where someone gets ghosted and are desperately grasping for reasons as to why. Like they had an accident or were ill or broke their phone and I always think, come off it, they just lost interest.

Well I have been having a chat, but of flirting with someone for a couple of weeks. Haven't made plans to meet because of Coronavirus.

All went quiet yesterday and today. Ghosted I thought. But we have a mutual friend on Facebook and the friend put an RIP message about the guy. I clicked on his page and the bloke passed away in his sleep. So young too.

It feels strange because obviously I didn't really know him but I still feel sad. And actually shocked. I don't know what to feel. Gutted for his family and children.

I guess I won't be so quick to write off those threads in future. Sometime there is a reason, the worst reason.

Bloody hell, that's a shocker. Do you know if was CV related? Not that it matters. You're allowed to feel whatever way you want or need to. Don't suppress it because you never met face to face. He was still a person who you spent time talking to.

It wasn't CV related. He was into body building and was apparently abusing substances and putting strain on his body. (as far as I can glean from Facebook)

I just feel shocked. Poor guy, 30 years old, no age to die.

I think it is an ultra rare thing that has happened here and when people think they have been ghosted, they more than likely have been.

It must be a shock to the system nonetheless.

Take care OP.

Oh gosh that is a shock. I’m so sorry.

How awful, I'm sorry to hear that OP. Even though you didn't really know him it is a shock. Look after yourself.

Are you from E.Lancs by any chance OP?

How incredibly sad.

However, 99.99% of ghostings are still ghostings - surely?

Heard a similar story (true) years ago when a woman read that the man had died in a road accident in the local newspaper.

I'm sure this happens occasionally - there was an episode on sex and the city where this happens to Miranda.

Sorry, OP

Wow OP that’s awful.... this used to be one of my really irrational fears in the early stages of dating, I’m a huge over thinker and if I hadn’t heard from them in a while I’d be concerned that something had happened and then realised no one would tell me it had happened.

I can imagine how strange you must be feeling, I’m so sorry

My dp, bil and brother were online gaming friends with a guy from London, (as is usual with online friends they didn't have other ways to contact him) so when he disappeared they thought he had ghosted them one day out of the blue but a week or so later the mans brother sent them a message to tell them he had had a heart attack and died.

It shook them as they felt they had lost a good friend of years even though it was only online.

Oh that’s sad. However I would say most ghosting is actually ghosting. This is very rare I would imagine .

So sorry to hear that

So sorry op
Sending love and hugs

Oof that is hard OP, I’m sorry. I’m in a not dissimilar situation: a guy I used to date in 2018 told me inJanuary this year that he was dying of cancer. I’ll never know when he dies, no/one will tell me. So I’m kind of grieving for him all the time.

Sorry to hear that OP

I think it just hit me not to be so cynical on future as it does happen. I was always the first to think that woman look desperate trying to convince them self that there was another reason.

@whataballbag, no not easy lancs.

Sorry to hear that op.
I was chatting to a guy on twitter, One afternoon an rip message came up from his brother. I was in shock. Went into town feeling sick, but I got suspicious. I thought it over and was sure it wasn't actually true. 10 days later he returned. Said he was sorry. He is married and got in over his head.

That’s really awful, poor man.

It’s not a good reason to suggest that women become less cynical and strong about men pissing them about though. 1 in a million+ chance. I say still keep your wits about you when dating, and your expectations high.

This happened to me when I was a teenager. Met a lad on a night out, got on brilliantly, he wrote my number on his hand (this was before mobiles!) and promised to call me the next day. Heard nothing for a few days, then his Mum called me, he'd been knocked down by a car just minutes after we'd said goodbye. She wanted to meet me, so we met up, all very surreal and very sad. Still think about him sometimes.

I think in the online world this kind of thing does happen more often than we think.

I was rushed into hospital a few years ago and again last year. Anyone who knew me online only or who in fact didn’t see me often would never have known if I hadn’t survived. They might just have thought I’d decided to log off....

That being said, I read somewhere that something like 90% of deaths announced on websites such as this one are fake. . I guess it’s easy to invent a persona and then kill it off when you’re bored of it. I know someone who has done this at least three times.

I had something a little like this that shocked me.

When I was 15 I met a boy on a school trip and we had an innocent kiss and then remained pen pals. He'd write me love letters bless him but it was all quite innocent and non commital. He lived about two hours from me. I saw him once or twice but apart from the odd phone call, we mainly wrote letters.

Anyway roll on a few years. I moved to the city he lived in for Uni and was thinking about calling him. Hadn't heard from him in a while though and he hasn't replied to my last letter. I thought maybe it had finally just fizzled out, but still planned to call him. I did wonder why he'd gone quiet on me but knew we were at an age now where uni and life takes over.

One day I went into town and bring a big kid and bored I went into a games centre , the ones with arcade games etc. I wondered around and went to the kiosk. To my shock I saw a photo on the kiosk that said 'in loving memory of' and his name and a photo of him!

I basically found out about 5 months before he'd been stabbed to death.
I was so shocked and sad. I was also glad I hadn't rung his house (he lived with parents) to ask to speak to him as that would have been hurtful to his parents.

My husband went out one morning and never came home. He died in the street of a heart attack. Thank god I didn't post on here saying I was worried. I'd have had a thousand responses screaming LTB, there's ALWAYS another woman and how can I be so naive etc. etc.

So sorry about your husband @opticaldelusion. That must have been so difficult. You are right about the response you would have got too.