I feel so invisible

[Ineedwine1]

I'm a single parent. My DS is 3. Currently with his dad for a week then back with me for a week so actually on my own atm.
Realised I message people first and so called "friends" don't bother to ask how I am. 9 time out of 10 it's me messaging parents first.
I'm in a group chat with the women from work. We socialise now and then outside of work. I asked in it today if anytging important happened in this mornings brief as I had to go collect food. They all ignored me.
I set up a group chat via out work communication with these women to ask about an email sent about our work. Half left straight away.
Just feel invisible to everyone and feel no one cares. I know people are in my position too and feel very lonely.
Just makes me feel so sad. And I've decided once we are through this to not bother witg these people so much. I put effort into contacting them l, seeing how they are. Trying to help. But get nothing in return.
Just feel sad really.

Sadly it's pretty common behaviour. I know it's hard but don't take it personally.

They probably all thought "will answer that later" or "someone else will answer that". People are busy, lazy, selfish, thoughtless etc.

I'm sorry you feel so sad. I think probably most of us feel left out in some way at some time and it's hard. I think it's seldom deliberate just busy people not considering your feelings. I know it doesn't make it easier, especially in this odd time but I don't think you should take it personally, or necessarily ditch this people unless they are actively nasty.

I'm really very sorry this has happened @Ineedwine1 . It must feel very hurtful.

I went through something similar last year. A group of people I felt cared about me made it very clear they didn't and it hurt. I can't cut them off entirely unfortunately, which I would do if I could. As you work with these women it seems you are in a similar position.

Not being able to cut contact makes it quite hard I find. I'm not a grudge barer and I do let things go, but the problem with that is I find myself getting sucked back in, doing my usual thing of engaging with them - only to find myself hurt again when it's made clear to me how little they care.

Like you, I've found that not making any more effort really helps. Whenever I find myself starting to revert to my old behaviour, I remind myself how unkindly I was treated and that seems to get me back on the straight and narrow and protects me from being hurt again.

I don't want to live with bitterness or resentment in my heart, so I try to just accept them for the limited people they are and focus on things and people that are positive for me.

I hope you can find some more positive people.

Group chats are notorious for going nowhere unless a particular topic catches fire.

Are there any members in the groups with whom you get on particularly well? If so, try and engage with them individually. Maybe refer to something they mentioned previously, or a topic which is of interest to them.

And accept that you may have to be the one to initiate contact, at least for a while - until the relationship is on a surer footing.

Thanks everyone. Some people have said them and friends have video chatted and catched up, seen it on fb. No one has done that with me. Just sitting alone literally speaking to no one all day.

Ah that is so sad. I'm fortunate to have lovely work colleagues but I have worked in similar atmospheres before and it's awful.
Keep posting here we are here for you.