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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Exh and shared custody-now is not the time surely?

3 replies

MurrayTheMonk · 27/03/2020 12:59

I've been off isolating with the two DD's I share with exh for two weeks whilst trying to manage an extreme staffing crisis in my care services due to Corona. So far so stressful.

Ex has his elderly Mother living with him. We both decided it was better to keep symptomatic girls away from her, and I was also symptomatic. He's been coming to see them daily through the window.

I'm due to go back to work on Monday. Due to ongoing staffing issues I am actually moving in to one of my homes from Monday morning to Wednesday Evening. I will be off or wfh Thursday, work on Friday 9-5 all being well, off Saturday, work Sunday 12 hours.

I suggested Exh have the girls Monday to Wednesday night, I would have them Thursday day and night, he will have them 9-5 Friday-I'll have them Friday night to Sunday morning and then back to him.

He said no as It's meant to be his weekend with them. He won't give up his Saturday.
Thurs and Sat are the only days I can see them next week.

He will be wfh with very little to do and there is nowhere to do anyway-so I can't see that weekend days vs week day days are a thing currently.

He will be having them more than he normally has them next week. This will go on for about 12 weeks probably as I will need to physically been in work over and above my normal hours I would think.

He will have been the first to stand outside clapping for key workers last night. But he can't even let this bloody keyworker have her DD's for the short time actually available to me next week.

It's been a stressful few weeks and it's not going to improve anytime soon. But this has really made me cry today Sad

I'm sure this discussion must be going on up and down the land at the moment. It's just so disappointing.

OP posts:
Cambionome · 27/03/2020 13:12

I feel for you op. He sounds totally unreasonable. Flowers

Dawninglory · 27/03/2020 20:23

As you have been isolating for 2wks he hasn't really seen them either OP so I don't think he's being unreasonable. Your week next week sounds pretty full on and by Sat sounds like you might need some Me time tbh.

Quartz2208 · 27/03/2020 20:27

Oh I do feel for you trying to manage all of this but I do think perhaps in the circumstances the girls being with him for the week and enabling you to get on top as well as resting and giving yourself a break may not be such a bad thing.

You are doing a brilliant thing with the care homes your girls will be fine with their Dad for a week

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