How would you read this?

[25MinutesSinceLastTime]

Been seeing a man for 6 months. Had the exclusive chat around a month in and agreed we'd both been exclusive from the start. Nothing to suggest that's changed.

We spend every weekend together - either 1 or 2 nights and a day out and sometines/often a night in the week too. This is usually governed by me because of my work/family commitments. There has not been a single time I've suggested a date that he's turned me down; he's not cancelled any.

No issues when we're together. We go out together as a 'couple' - we've had couple friends round for the evening and I've been invited with him to friends' events.

His family know about me (I've seen emails from siblings who have asked after me); I've met all of his friends.

But...

We spent last weekend together before the lockdown and had a lovely time but at one point he 'almost' referred to me as his girlfriend and then corrected himself.

Something along the lines of "my girlf... my girl".

Now, we havent actually discussed the bf/gf label - I'm not particularly hung up on labels - I tend to go by if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck... and going by that, this looks as much bf/gf as any other relationship I've been in - more than others. But this has thrown me a little.

He always tells people its going "really well" if they ask - but then when someone made a direct reference to us being 'a couple' he didn't respond either way.

We're now into lockdown obviously. He sent me away with some of his DVD box sets to keep me occupied and I have things at his. So, presumably, there is an expectation that we will be seeing each other again once this is all over.

But in what capacity?

In all of this, I'd rather not have any headspace taken up by a relationship that isn't a relationship.

How would you read this?

He obviously feels you are his girlfriend, just using the actual word is weird for him, which is fair enough as you get older, I think.

I think just say do you want to be in a relationship with me/ do you see this going somewhere?

Yeah I guess something as simple as that would work. If this whole lockdown business is going to he extended beyond the 3 weeks (which, let's face it, it is), there's absolutely no point in keeping in touch if there's no reason to.

This is a rather odd statement. How did you both leave it when you parted before lockdown?

Well, I think we were both a bit stunned tbh and trying to process what it meant. We hugged a lot. I said I was worried about the implications of a lockdown; he made a joke about something we'd do the next time we saw each other; he was just very quiet and held my hand and I couldn't really say much much because I was trying not to cry - there was more to it than just leaving him. But a lot was left unsaid I suppose. After he had corrected himself over the weekend, I felt a bit vulnerable I suppose - not knowing why he'd done it - and didnt want to say too much.

We've been in contact a lot more than we were before. Just odd messages throughout the day whereas we didn't really bother with that before. Just chit chat stuff that we'd say to each other if we were together so that we know we're thinking about each other I suppose.

I think it would be fair to say it's very slow burning!!

I'd say he's beating around the bush and hasn't got the balls to discuss it. And because of that, I'd see it as a red flag. I need a man who doesn't hide feelings, good and bad.

I think he was going to say girlfriend and then thought it sounded young, he corrected to my girl which is still saying “my”. If he wanted to downplay you he’d have said something like you’re a friend or something. The circumstances are making you overthink.

That's an extremely unhelpful thing to say in the circumstances. Just because you've met men with commitment issues in the past, does not mean the OP's man is the same!

To the OP; don't overthink it, just talk to him, but try to bring it up in a jokey way.

Actions speak louder than words.
And I'd say his actions are just fine.
Don't overanalyse things.

I would say he didn't want to be out himself out there in case you rejected the prospect of being his girlfriend.

“He obviously feels you are his girlfriend, just using the actual word is weird for him, which is fair enough as you get older, I think.”

This.

You’re overthinking it (though I get why you are in these circs).

But you can’t just rule out all forms of chat which aren’t face-to-face. You don’t know how long you’ll be locked down and you need to communicate in the meantime.