I’ve been living with my boyfriend (of 7 years) and his family for the last few weeks due to the coronavirus outbreak. I couldn’t be at home as I was still working and I live with someone who has low immune system.
We’d been having problems for 5/6 months before this, but I’d say about 6 weeks ago we had a good talk about it and took some steps to work on our problems. This included us making more effort with ourselves and each other such as going on dates.
So we’ve been around each other for the last 2 weeks non-stop, and the old feelings before our chat have started to resurface.
He is miserable and argumentative all the time and he talks to his family in a really negative way. I think he’s been getting quite depressed whilst we’ve been stuck inside, so I do feel for him, but I’m also depressed/anxious and really struggling with being homesick, so it’s difficult to feel sympathetic when you’re also feeling really low.
It’s just a shitty situation. But it’s made me distance myself from him within the house and not really want to have sex with him because almost every interaction I have with him he’s just in a terrible mood, and it’s been really off-putting and unattractive.
Part of the reasons we’d had issues before were that I felt he was negative, mansplainy, and would never make an effort to do anything other than sit on his computer. Unfortunately, this situation has forced all of that behaviour out again.
We’d been making good progress, so I don’t want it all to be undone because of an unfortunate situation. I’ve been trying to make a conscious effort to smile and hang out more, but it’s difficult when he continues to make shitty, unnecessary comments.
The thought that keeps going through my mind is ‘he’s always going to be like this underneath, and when we do live together in the future, what if he talks to me the way he talks to his family?’
I want to talk to him about it, but is it unfair of me to when he’s been forced into a position that’s making his depressed and lash out?