Is it a bit crap that he didn't send me a birthday card?

[Stuckandsadintheupsidedown]

It's my birthday 🎂
I know this is so self indulgent but I am sad new boyfriend hasn't posted me a card. He sent a text this morning saying happy birthday and we'll celebrate once this is all over. I know some would say that's equal to a card, I certainly don't expect flowers or a gift but the I am sad at no card.
My dad was late posting yesterday so no card from him, it's just me and ds who is letting me play with his robots.
I know it's unchartered territory at the moment but boyfriend had been off work 3 weeks already and been out to asda to buy beers and food etc.

It would put me off him. He could have done something. Interflora. Moonpig. Sent you something like a book from amazon. Anything. A token. A note in the post saying IOU a dinner at a restaurant of your choice. Doesn’t really show him in a good light does it

I'd not expect someone to go to the shop to buy a card and stamp then post it as I don't class that as an 'essential' trip out in these strange times but I would have expected a call as a bare minimum to explain why he hadn't sent a card and perhaps a delivery of something?

What was he like at Christmas? I agree it's a bit shit and I agree about not settling a low bar.

Absolutely agree he shouldn't have gone to the shops to get you a card given it is not essential at all.

However, a text after 6 months is shit. There are loads of thoughtful things someone can do without risking anyone's health...send voice notes, make up a birthday silly quiz or send you a playlist on spotify, suggest a virtual drink etc.

The death toll is rising every day from a global pandemic and you're upset you didn't get a birthday card. Really?

I honestly wasn't expecting anything for mother's day given the current situation and was very surprised DH and the DCs got me anything...and that was before lockdown.

I wouldn't have wanted my DH or DC to risk exposure.

Semi lockdown came in on Monday, he was probably planning to get you a card last minute...it's not essential and not everyone uses Moonpig and unless he did it last week it wouldn't have arrived on time.

This thread just shows how many people don't realise the seriousness of what's happening.

I wouldn't expect him to make a special trip just to get a card, or token gift, but he must go out to buy food anyway and that stuff is still right there in the supermarkets. I don't see how picking up a card or box of chocolates or flowers while you're there is somehow failing to understand the gravity of the pandemic.

And outside of such things, he could have been a bit inventive, made a bit of effort.

Ffs, going shopping for a card is not an essential activity!

People still aren’t getting this whole thing are they?

@SandyY2K
I'm sure the OP is well aware if the pandemic unless she has been living on Mars.
However she is allowed to feel whatever she wants about her birthday. She is allowed to feel hurt. What's going on in the world doesn't stop how you feel about your own birthday.
It's not essential of course. But maybe the card is a symbol of how she feels about the relationship anyway.
It is not selfish to have feelings.

I don't think anyone is arguing he should make a special trip for a card - but it's not difficult to pick one up from a supermarket while you're there. What's so difficult to understand about that?!

@Aerial2020

She may feel as she does, but under the current circumstances it says more about her than him.

In fact if I had a BF of 6 months who attempted to express disappointment over not receiving a card in these current times, I'd end the relationship immediately.

If he can feel hurt over such a thing, I don't want someone with that kind of thinking, as we're not on the same wavelength.

If he had enough food in the house, then going to the supermarket for a card which is non essential, would be irresponsible.

If not getting a birthday card, while there is a global pandemic makes one feel hurt, they need some serious self exploration.

Perspective is everything.

Maybe you do

I think one's personal relationships ought to be more important in a pandemic rather than less. A bit of thought beyond a text is easy -
-sexy pictures
-funny sexy pictures
-pictures of "what I would have bought you if I could"
-a virtual IOU for a slap-up dinner somewhere nice
-a poem
-virtual cards

There's really no reason not to make a bit of a fuss over someone you're supposed to be quite keen on.

Also it says in the first post, that her boyfriend had been out to buy beers and food. So he could have bought a card along with the oh-so essential beers, but didn't.

@category12 and yet I suspect he will expect to make a fuss of him on his birthday.

Yep, he's been off work for 3 weeks so it's not like he hasn't had time on his hands either.

"But - pandemic!" really doesn't cut it.

I'm a bloke and I hate buying cards...

I can also understand OP feeling a bit miffed. Even with all the pandemic stuff going on I doubt anyone is 100% averse to personal feelings.

Happy Birthday Stuckandsad.......

Surely because we are living in such a terrible time, the little acts of caring are even more important, not less?

All these people saying he shouldn't go to the shops to buy a card, it's not essential etc etc.... you don't even need to leave the sofa to buy and send a card. Moonpig is a real thing. And they send flowers, chocolates and small gifts too, along with the card, my kids sent me a Moonpig card and flowers for Mothers' Day. All he had to do was sit in front of his computer for ten minutes with his bank card.

He didn't do that. And he could have done. All this 'we'll do something nice when this is over'...well, this might not be over for months. Maybe even a year. So he should have done 'something' to cover himself for now. Otherwise what's he going to do, add it on to the Christmas present he owes you, etc etc?