Locked down in a relationship that’s ending and feeling so low

[RabbitsGoneRogue]

How do I get through it?

DH and I had agreed to separate the week before this all happened. I am desperately sad and unhappy and the atmosphere here isn’t nice.
Have two kids both in primary school who I’m trying to homeschool as well as wfh and am just overwhelmed with it all.

To top it all off, I’m hopelessly in love with my colleague. I had completely underestimated how much difference the fact I saw him every day in work for a chat made to my mental health. We are good friends and he has no idea of my feelings but missing him is driving me insane. I know I need to find a way to get over it - how?

Please be kind, I am really really low right now.

This would be a tough situation at the best of times.. let alone right now. Just concentrate on your kids and work and try and take each day as it comes. Think its helpful if you get the colleague out of your system, its a complication you could do without....

Think its helpful if you get the colleague out of your system, its a complication you could do without.... agree.

I agree too. But HOW?! I won’t contact him unless work related but it’s a long time thing that’s been going on for months. My DH is emotionally unavailable and not supportive, this guy is so kind and lovely. I think it’s just displacement in me that makes me feel like that - it’s what I’m missing in my own relationship.. but I can’t seem to move past it!

Hi RabbitsGoneRogue I am in a similar situation.
Marriage has been on the rocks for some time, one young DC, and in recent months in particular I have really struggled with my mental health. And have dipped back into depression, after a long time of 'managing'.
Things this week in particular have felt particularly hard. My DH has little understanding or sympathy for my depression. And has become quite wrapped up in his own needs, and work. Despite the fact I'm a front line worker, and he's at home with a laptop.
I do wonder how our marriage which is holding on by a thread, will survive the coming weeks and months.
I also have very strong feelings for a colleague. Well if I was honest; I'm hopelessly in love with him. So far we are still working together, but quite possibly will be redeployed at some point.
I'm not sure how I feel about this. I know that I would miss him desperately. But would distance help to curb the feelings?
The circumstances are far from ideal without the added bonus, of feelings for someone else!

My only advice would be to take each day as it comes. Make your DC the focus. I don't think now, is the best of times to making moves to end a marriage. Try and sit tight.

You 100% have my empathy!

@RabbitsGoneRogue feel for you. That's a shitty position to be in. Unfortunately you have zero choice right now so spend the lockdown planning, getting things in order for when this is over and you two can go your separate ways.

The colleague. A distraction because your marriage is failing and he is everything your husband isn't, but you dont know how he feels anyway and you can't contact him so you need to be really tough with yourself here, and block him out, it isn't helping.

Good luck, this will be over at some point, it's not forever x

Thanks for the kind responses.

I’m so relieved someone knows how I feel looop, when it was being discussed on the news that we may end up with social distancing, lockdown etc my primary concern was that I wouldn’t see him everyday. How ridiculous is that! We were working in different offices for 4 months last year and it didn’t help for me.. not sure this will help either! Though it did cross my mind that maybe going cold turkey will be a good thing in the long run however painful it is now. Argh! The worst thing is I can’t even discuss it with anyone in real life because I haven’t told anyone we are separating yet.

Thanks Mama, I feel so incredibly lonely right now. Just wish there was an end in sight