Can I / should I pick up son from University

[Rowan10]

I'm just wondering what to do.
My 20 yr old son is at university in Wales (we are east England) It closed 10 days ago but he had assignments to finish. Then he lost his phone so I could only email him. I repeatedly told him he might get stuck there and to let me pick him up asap. But he's a useless communicator (though otherwise lovely).
He amazingly found his phone today and we were just arranging me collecting him, when the news came on. And then I managed to forget about dinner and set fire 🔥 to my oven, its going well tonight !!
Do you think I would be ok to drive to get him (4 hours each way). I'm just worried it might be classed as non essential travel now. But otherwise he's stuck there in a flat on his own for who knows how long. I know it's kind of his own fault but he does have a few anxiety issues and no contact for 3 years from my ex, his dad. So I know his little sister and I will panic about him not being here. I don't think he will be able to get a train anymore either.
I really don't want to be irresponsible but I'd really like to get him.

RoseOfSharon - I hope the same applies, we're talking about young adults rather than children (though of course they'll always be our children).

Our DD is at her boyfriends family's home now - that's fine, she's happy there, they're both revising hard for online exams. DH is worried that if for some reason she needed to come home we wouldn't be able to get her. I'm trying to reassure myself that of course we could fetch her back to her permanent home address.

Thank so much everyone. I don’t post very often but the kindness of strangers never ceases to amaze me. And really sorry for those in the same boat. I even caved and texted my ex (first time in 2 years) as he is a retired policeman, but why am I still surprised he hasn’t replied.

Sod it I’m going tomorrow morning, though lovely but idiot son hasn’t acknowledged this !! Aaarrggh.

Sorry purple trilby that’s horrible for you.

FFS this isn't 'helicoptering' , AgentJohnson.
Most of our kids would normally come home on the train. A lot weren't planning on coming home at all for Easter.

You won't get fined tomorrow anyway (or even the day after)
As others said it makes sense to bring a child home to stay because student accommodation isn't suitable for isolating or if they get sick.

One trip and then no more will be ok.

This is what I'd consider essential travel

Yes. Go now

Nope Agent Johnson, why he’s like that is he had a breakdown during A levels, brought on by a mood altering medication he had to take, and the fact his dad has completely sodding abandoned both kids for 3 years.
So I make no apology for ‘helicoptering’ in when he doesn’t cope very well.

I would. If this had happened a couple of weeks later my 20 yr old son would have been travelling in Nepal. He now would have been advised to come back to his home country. And yes I would have collected him from LHR in my car as that would have been the best way to minimise contact with others eg the train.

The laws aren’t in place yet, can MN stop losing the ability to process information!
Go get your DS, travel home if you have to, do what you have to do,it’s not a police state yet!

Very mean comment AgentJohnson, there's nothing useless about her son. She is not enabling anything negative and patronising use of Mummy when she is being a mother doesn't help. Go for your son, whatever feels right for you both should be your guide. I'm pleased most comments are are supportive of that.

Go get him - it is essential - good mental health is essential!

I am going to pick my son up tomorrow - 6 hrs drive, me & my husband are having to go as it's too far for 1 person to drive there and back safely in a day. I class this as essential travel - so we can support him and help him to understand 'lock down'. I don't want to do anything wrong, and I have made sure my car is up for the journey, I should get there and back on a full tank, taking food for the journey.....no planned stops...… fingers crossed!!

I’d go get him.

My eldest (22) lives and works in a town 2 hours drive away in an essential job. He’s changing job, his last shift is this weekend, and he has a two week gap before his new job starts. His tenancy in his current town ends next week so he’ll have nowhere to live, the flat in his new location is available the day before his new job starts, his new boss wants him to work remotely initially given the current situation. The plan was always that I’d pick him and his stuff up the day after his job finishes, and bring him back home until his new place is available. We are all low risk and no symptoms.

I think the one person car journey to get him, which will save him being homeless and enable him to start his new job (he’d probably just stay here and move into his new flat when he’s able to go to work in the office) is a lesser evil than him being homeless and unable to work. When he handed is notice in three months ago this wasn’t on the cards.

Yes go. Don't rush. Stay safe.

I'm just back from collecting mine (250 mile round trip). Paid for diesel at the pump, didn't stop on the way, there or back. Job done and yes it was essential to get him home.

Just back with mine. Left at 8.40 this morning & back at 3.30. I’m shattered but she’s home.

If they’re telling Brits abroad to get home fast, then collecting YA offspring from uni must be permissible too.

You’re bringing him home to lockdown not shuttling him off to a commune or ferry or something.

I'm off to get mine tomorrow - 550 mile round trip in a day. Not looking forward to it. I've got a flask, food, latex gloves and hand gel. What else do I need?
Have to admit I'm a bit scared - going on my own, and leaving my sensible teen behind. I feel as if I shouldn't be going, but he's now on his own in halls.
Any tips?

550 miles? A shewee? Sorry all I can think of there is bladder capacity.

Maybe also RAC/AA membership if you dong already have it.

Yeah, I've got wee bottle/bucket thing too. Blurgh.

Fun times, eh?

I think you’ve thought of everything really. Just keep going and don’t stop for anything.

I have contacted my MP this morning. His response was:
"The Common sense answer is to waste no time. Get up to Liverpool and deliver her home. Just observe the usual precautions."

I am going tomorrow arm with a copy of this email in case I get stopped.

Go and get him
I made my 22 year old come home. I need his support to cope with his moody teenager siblings!
It’s not enabling anything- this is unprecedented and we need to look after each other.

OP, how could that be anything other than a loving gesture of a parent. Good on you.

Dannykit that's really useful, thank you.
He's only 18, on his own a long way away. He needs to be at home bless him. Rescue mission a go go!