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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I have to end it and I don't know if I'm strong enough.

28 replies

AudaCityLimits · 23/03/2020 08:33

Bf and I have been together for two years. He lives about 40 mins from me, but we spend all weekends together and 1 weekday night.
I have been in many relationships and this one, honestly, has been blissful. We chat and laugh, are really proper mates, we have a fantastic sex life. Both of us have said that this is It. There has been talk of moving in together (as soon as this week, so that we need not spend lockdown apart.)

Yesterday, I noticed the name of a woman on his phone. It was a woman he had "almost been with" before he met me. I thought it was weird, so I asked him about it, and he got a bit of a cob on, saying that I was being possessive.
I asked to see the messages.
He tried to walk out with his phone. I demanded to see it, and he let me.
She has been in his house to clean for him. They talk about the lovely coffee and chat they had. He then goes on to text her loads, saying she's welcome there any time, just to chat and not to clean. He puts kisses. She replies with an obvious rebuff, referring to her husband, no kisses etc. He texts her over and over, and when she doesn't reply, asks if she's okay.

I then looked at messenger, and found messages between his female friend and him, where he calls her sexy, and says he wants to meet up and something is always stopping them. She replies "maybe that's a good thing" and he goes "I thought you were looking forward to it!"
He confessed to me that they had "almost kissed" about a month ago.

I feel so sick, can't stop shaking. Please tell me what to do. I walked out and haven't seen him since, but we have spoken on the phone.

OP posts:
RLEOM · 24/03/2020 21:02

This is the real him. I promise you this man is no loss. He's seeking attention and more from more than one woman, he won't change.

famousforwrongreason · 25/03/2020 01:46

@AudaCityLimits sending hugs. You're not weak, you've just been conned and the discovery is very fresh. Allow yourself time to grieve and re-set. Sending hugs x

monkeymonkey2010 · 25/03/2020 14:38

He confessed to me that they had "almost kissed" about a month ago
More like he tried to assert himself ON her!

Does she actually working as a cleaner?
She's rebuffed him repeatedly and he's refusing to take 'no' for answer.
I hope to God SHE stays away from him too - this guy sounds like a rapist in the making.

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