Dating and Corona Virus

[Minionmomma]

Hi all. Looking for some advice. Stbexh and I split in August last year and he moved out around 6 months ago. I have dipped my toe into the dating game. I saw stbexh had a profile on Tinder and Bumble, so presumably he’s also dating. I’ve been dating a guy for a little while and we’d had some really nice dates including an overnight stay in a hotel. He’s still cohabitating with his ex, they are in the process of selling their property, so going to his place is not an option. My quandary is this — now that all pubs, restaurants, cinemas, theatres have closed down, it’s going to make dating rather difficult. I’ve avoided inviting the guy I’m dating back to mine so far but if we want to keep seeing one another I’m not sure how else we would do so unless it’s at my home. Would it be inappropriate to invite him to my place, given that it’s the marital home?

You don't see him at the moment.
That's it, full stop.
No where or how, you don't see him.

Pre Covid-19 I'd have said if you aren't comfortable enough to invite him over naturally then you shouldn't do so if its forced.

Today, with things as they are why on earth are you even considering this? It's hardly essential contact is it? I would say keep things alive over the phone, face time etc. and if it's meant to be it will be, when this all blows over

I think you shouldn't be socialising where possible and that means inviting people to your house. If he lived with you then you wouldn't have a choice but you do.

Also since you don't know him well you don't know of you can trust him if he says he has no symptoms.

Do you have children?

I'm not seeing the guy I've been dating at all at the moment. We'll stay in touch via text, facetime etc but won't see each other in person until CV is over. At the moment we're supposed to be limiting social contact which includes not having visitors at your home

You don’t see him. It’s necessary contact with people only.

IMO we will be on lockdown soon so you won’t have a choice

If neither of you have underlying health issues then I don’t see the issue, I would see him whilst I can as long as you and he have both been careful and washed hands etc, there will come a time when we absolutely have to stay in but that time hasn’t come yet so go for it I say.

Meant to also add of neither of you have symptoms then you should both be okay.

Thanks all. Much appreciated. We’ve decided not to see one another. I’m a key worker which increases the risks. I think because it’s very much business as usual for me with my job I haven’t been able to socially distance myself to the extent that others have and my mindset has been about just carrying on.

If you're a key worker then you should already know the dangers

Nah sorry but you shouldnt be seeing him right now.

Side note, living with his ex?! Please tell me you have confirmed with her, in person, that they are over? Otherwise you are very possibly being taken for a mug.

Side note, living with his ex?! Please tell me you have confirmed with her, in person, that they are over? Otherwise you are very possibly being taken for a mug

This.

I bet the "ex" doesn't know they're over.

I lived with my exh for 14 months after we separated so please don't always assume the worst. We had very separate lives, separate bedrooms etc etc but couldn't move until the house was sold. Life isn't always black and white sadly. However, I appreciate what others have said and would ask a few questions at the very least to establish that they definitely are separated and living separate lives

Thank you @fairycake2 In response to the comments about his ex not knowing about me, actually she does. She has a new partner herself. The guy I’d been dating and his ex are actually pretty good friends after years of marriage which just did not work in the end.

They have separate rooms, separate lives, alternative weekends with the kids but also do family stuff together such as the kids’ birthdays. I actually think that’s quite nice.

It is quite nice OP that he has such a good relationship with his ex and it speaks volumes about what type of man he is, he sounds like a good one

Yes, that is a good sign. You can’t see him for now though. (I completely get that you might not have realised that if you’re a key worker - I was thinking just earlier today how key workers are living completely different lives to the rest of us. The rest of us are staying at home, not seeing anyone but those we share our home with and having virtual contact with all our other family, friends, colleagues etc).

PS huge thanks to you, @Minionmomma, for putting yourself out there and helping keep the rest of us safe.

@Dery thank you so much. That’s really kind of you. Yeah we kind of said goodbye. It was early days anyway. He is a lovely man but who knows what will happen when he is locked down with his family for weeks, possibly months, ok bed during such an anxiety provoking time? I think lots of families will reach breaking point and others will reconnect. I don’t want to complicate the situ so stepped back. We shall see what happens when this has all blown over. Such strange times but I genuinely do think some good things will come out of this awful virus for society xx

Excuse the typos

I also think that this awful virus is a good control for relationships in couples and it will definitely put everything in its place and bring good things for society. If you have kids, then better to exclude dates with your new boyfriend. Nobody knows how long you will be together and it is always worth showing to the child someone with whom you already have a really strong relationship, but not every candidate. If you have no children and no fear, then why not meet. Or continue to meet new people on dating websites like this idateadvice.com/dating-korean-women-reasons-expectations . Anyway, you'll have the possibility to communicate with others, have new experience and maybe find and other variants for the times when Cor vid will leave us.