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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friend snappy with me - am I being paranoid?

3 replies

Wouldyou66 · 22/03/2020 14:53

Hello, friend of 20 years (both now aged 31) is being snappy with me and I feel like I’m walking on eggshells around her. However I don’t know if I’m being hypersensitive and reading into things/not getting “jokes” or if my gut is right. I feel like I just really irritate her.

This started from last year when got the train to visit a mutual friend in another city for her birthday. I arrived at lunch time and had lunch in a group (including this friend) and then went to a bar/club in the evening, where I stayed until 10pm and then got the last train home.
A couple of months later the friend said to me I was wrong to have gone home in the same day and that I should have slept at the other friend’s house (birthday girl). I said I didn’t want to sleep on the floor. She said I should have, she did, it was fine and that I shouldn’t be such a grandma. I am still young and I am missing out on things.

Since then I just feel odd comments I make seem to wind her up. An example last month I went to a hotel for my birthday. I have misophonia and so does she so one of messages to her was “ I’m in a hotel tonight and on edge about any annoying noise fingers crossed for none 🤣”

Her reply was: “ Would you rather have coronavirus or have a small flashing green light in the room when youre trying to sleep for a period of 6 months?”

Am I reading into things? Am I being paranoid? Or do I need to back off from this friend and give her space? Although saying that I have only seen her once in over 6 months as she has been travelling.

OP posts:
honeyytoast · 22/03/2020 18:37

What did her reply to your comment mean?

Just from that, it doesn’t really sound as though you irritate her. But if you’re getting a general vibe that that’s the case, it may just be one of those things where friends grow apart. If you really value your friendship and want to keep it then maybe just bring it up in a lighthearted way one day - eg “I don’t annoy you, do I?” with a laugh.

If not, then maybe allow whatever will happen to happen

Wouldyou66 · 22/03/2020 18:40

I felt like it meant she thought I was moaning and it annoyed her when there are many awful things happening in the world.

OP posts:
willowpatterns · 22/03/2020 18:43

Don't bother with her any more. She sounds like hard work.

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