Child's contact with ex - isolation

[Yourteaisgettingcold]

My 2yr old sees their father every other weekend, currently we are all in isolation due to my ex showing symptoms but when he has the all clear I was wondering whether I would be unreasonable to say he can only see our child at my house so I can limit the people he has contact with?

My ex was one of the idiots still going to and bragging about being in the pub after the government told people to avoid them, he is a true narcissist who only cares about himself so wont think about the impact his actions could have on our child or anyone he comes into contact with.

I dont know what the reasonable or unreasonable thing to do in this situation would be?

There is no court order for access in place and, once I'm out isolation, I will only be leaving my home to go to the shops.

And sorry OP I'm not intentionally hijacking your thread - I have got my own on this but wanted to offer support

@Yourteaisgettingcold do you have evidence he's interacting with others? Either way, this is a pandemic and shouldn't be taken lightly. There's no way in Hell that I'm compromising my health or my child's health. Ignore @Twelveroses as I doubt the courts would bat an eyelid at this. It. Is. A. Pandemic.

It doesn't matter what the court thinks about the pandemic. If OP and ex can't agree contact between themselves, ex is at liberty to apply for a Child Arrangements Order, and the CAO won't just be about contact during the pandemic. There's a risk that OP will end up being bound by a rigid CAO rather than having the flexibility that comes from negotiating contact informally.

This is a hard one and I posted a thread the other day. My ex took my kids this weekend although people may say this shouldn't happen. We are all practicing social distancing as best we can (other than when I have to attempt to find food in the shops).
The fact that your ex isn't socially distancing is the problem here. I'd be concerned about that and think you do right to insist its in your home. However if he is flouting the rules, he could easily bring the virus into your home anyway.

I told my ex he stays in 10 days and remains not going out he can have dd as much as he wants. But he’s been pub and his brothers so it’s his loss the clock starts again. I have serious health conditions so I’m not being a bitch. If he missed 10 days he could have as much contact as he wants -

Sorry, been busy face timing family tonight so just catching up now.

My ex had been posting online that he was in the pub and bragging about ignoring the guidelines before pubs were officially shut.

Ex has been physically violent in the past but now hes 'just ' manipulative and verbally abusive.

Im almost at the point where I dont care if I get taken to court in the future over this if means oir child is safer, my post was more about trying to find a way to make my ex see sense if the majority did think I was justified in trying to limit his exposure to our son by it being just in my house and not taking him to his flat or to his parents etc. as I know he would be (as he does each time her has our son).

I'm in a very similar situation op. My ex has completely flouted the guidelines despite my pleas to not take them to restaurants, visit family, visit friends etc so now I have no choice but to cancel all contact. I've tried to be amicable offering video calls/more frequent phone calls etc but they've gone ignored and instead abuse thrown at me. But in these seriously worrying times strong measures are called for.

Could remind him that if you die he will have to look after DC himself. I hope you don’t....

REDREDGREEN what an awful flippant thing to say. Beggars belief

I'm not an expert in this area at all, but what I would be doing is taking screenshots of all his posts about how he's ignoring public health advice. That way if you limit or withhold contact (and I think you'd be responsible to do so) and he kicks off and threatens or takes legal action, you have evidence to back up why it was necessary for you to do so. FYI if he's posting Instagram/Snapchat stories of himself at the pub, you can screen record on iPhones.

It's not about his rights, it's about your child's (and your) welfare. Don't forget that if he's going around having contact with whoever, if he comes into your house he could make your whole household sick and undo all your sacrifices. I'd argue youhave a responsibility to keep your child healthy and, as the primary caregiver, to stay healthy yourself.

I’m sorry if that came over as flippant. OP asked for suggestions of what might make her ex take this seriously. Thinking through the possible (and it is possible, although distressing and unlikely) consequences of his actions might help persuade him not to put his family at risk. Assuming he is in other ways a reasonable enough human being that contact with him is good for her DC. 3 months, or 6 or however long this turns out to be is a very long time for DC that young not to have contact. Though obviously if he is putting them at risk, you’d have to stop it.

Cafcass has guidance online and unless someone is self isolating the advice is to continue with contact. www.cafcass.gov.uk/download/12285/