How do I handle this?

[Louise000000]

Quick backstory, i seperated from dh last summer, he moved to his own flat this year.
Recently he's admitted to regularly checking through my underwear drawer to see what new pants i had got (new pants must mean new man) and that he went in initially to get a pair of my pants to masterbate with ! !
This morning i ve woken up to a text saying 'imagine me giving you a double orgasm, then a deep bath then a lovely lunch and walk in the woods, then a take away later in the evening and chill infront of a movie' then happy mothers day at the end.
My body was absolutely shaking there, hes made me feel so uncomfortable.
If it wasnt for the fact of us having 3 kids together, i would block him, but unfortunately i can't! How do i handle this? Ive just texted back saying the whole text has made me uncomfortable.

What steps have you taken between your last thread and this one, just to help us know what else to suggest.

The locks are a priority you really need to see this for how inappropriate and boundary breaking it is. I know you say you do, but you haven't changed the locks.

Disengage completely, don't say anything emotional in the messages eg that it makes you uncomfortable.

"I will only communicate with you about arrangements for childcare. As I have now made this very clear, I obviously consider anything else to be harassment. Do not message me again unless about necessary childcare arrangements."

Rinse and repeat.

So he's sent me a water purifier last week too and also a mother's day card in Fri saying I was the best mum.

Should not have accepted a delivery. Return the water purifier. Refuse any deliveries from him. Return to sender any cards. And rinse and repeat "necessary communication about childcare only".

After the pants thing I've said he's making me feel creeped out and uncomfortable and that I wanted to speed up divorce proceedings.

He knows you're creeped out, telling him that won't do anything. He either doesn't give a shit it makes you uncomfortable or he likes that it makes you uncomfortable.

I know it's hard but you need to remove and visible emotion from the situation in communication from him. Of course you'll feel angry / hurt etc, but you're giving him a reaction and that's feeding his behaviour because he's a fucked up horrible bully.

Telling him you want to speed up proceedings isn't going to make him agree to that. You need to take control and all measures you can to do so yourself, but not rely on or expect him to display and goodwill whatsoever.

Please please stop replying to him with anything emotional. Strip messages of anything remotely emotional.

"I have told you not to message about anything other than childcare arrangements. If you do so I consider this harassment and will report it as such."

You say you understand how serious this is but I get the sense that your fear of angering him or pissing him off is stopping you from firmly telling him you won't tolerate his behaviour and consider it harassment and will report if it continues.

The underwear draw thing is fucking disgusting and if that hasn't made you change the locks and tell him re harassment then I'm really worried you aren't taking this seriously and you think he will stop if he realises it upsets you - he doesn't care

@BackseatCookers ive made it clear to him today that we will communicate only about kids and another hint of anything sex related and I'll call thhe police.
He's of course saying I've exaggerated the 2 incidents and that he's not some kind of creep!
Anyway I feel like my message was made clear today and this isolation will do us the world of good.
I'm getting onto the locks ASAP. I am a push over I know! I start feeling sorry for him and become less assertive.
But can't ignore this now I'm making the changes necessary!!
Thanks for the input everyone

ive made it clear to him today that we will communicate only about kids and another hint of anything sex related and I'll call the police.

That's fab! And please, please do follow through on this. Don't make it an empty threat. He's being disgusting, intrusive and inappropriate. It's ok for you to report that.

He's of course saying I've exaggerated the 2 incidents and that he's not some kind of creep!

As you know, he is wrong. He's a cunt. A creepy cunt. And you can't exaggerate what he did, even as a factual non emotional recounting of his actions he's gross.

Anyway I feel like my message was made clear today and this isolation will do us the world of good.

Good for you I feel proud of you which I know is weird as I don't know you! But I do.

I'm getting onto the locks ASAP. I am a push over I know! I start feeling sorry for him and become less assertive.

When you feel sorry for him, remind yourself this is a man who has gone into your room, into your underwear draw, picked them up and told you he wants to wank with them. And also remind yourself that if he had a daughter I'd bet my life he'd want to kill a man who did that to her. So he's the worst kind of arsehole cunt - a hypocritical one. Please do change the locks. If nothing else it shows him you're not fucking around with this, you won't accept his behaviour.

But can't ignore this now I'm making the changes necessary!! Thanks for the input everyone

Here for you whenever you need. He sounds like an insufferable cunt, he really does.

I don't believe that a man wanting pants to wank in would tell the person whose pants he's wanking into. He's not going to cut off his supply is he? But, if he is really so stupid, give him all your pants and treat yourself to new ones and find a new place to keep them.

@Wotawally he said the confession came as he was feeling guilty about it all after I was trying to get on a friends with him.
Baffles me too but people are weird at times

He's not getting back in the house to access them now!!

Jesus OP, was he creepy like this when you were together?

@anotherdisaster no not at all! This isn't the man I married!!

Definitely read this nonsense before and here you are still letting him in your house.
Are you posting for attention? Do you like he still wants you?
No normal woman would still be allowing him into their house.

@JKscot4 eh? Where's this coming from? Posting for attention, I was majorly freaked out on sun.
No I don't like that he still wants me at all.

He's not been in the house since my first post about the pants and I've cut contact with him apart from for kids arrangements

I can't stand this trying to post for a bit of support as in wtf do I do here and people so quick to jump on and say this is for attention or I must enjoy this? It's only been 2 posts on this subject, not as if I'm posting every day about it.

Not responding to any more of this thread, thanks to those who gave me practical advice and support which is what I was looking for here, definitely not attention.
Think we have all got a touch of cabin fever here which I'll put the other responses down to

Sorry you've had a few random responses OP. Please keep updating us as I'm sure most of us care and want to know how you're getting on