Coronavirus/isolation

[Gingang]

AIBU
DP is high risk ( confirmed this morning) & has been isolating last 2days.
I went and met a friend also high risk for a coffee at lunchtime..used hand gel and distanced as recommended knowing it’d probably be last day to be out in any way .( also bought dp birthday cake & food supplies in )
When I get home after kids return from school he has locked me out of the house & won’t let me in .
I later get in with my hand gel /gloves & whilst I keep distance upstairs he then comes upstairs has a meltdown tells me to get out of the house and smashes my tv in the bedroom.
Have I really been that selfish ? he said I’m to apologise. We both have no symptoms.

If the given the circumstance is 100% correct - DP is a raging cunt. LTB.

If you are what is happening in Italy and your husband is high risk (how high?) I think his reaction is understandable.
What is he like the rest of the time?
Is this completely out of character?

Soon the NHS will not be coping at all.

If you see not are

Meeting for coffee was not necessary particularly when your DH is high risk and isolating so yes I would say that was selfish. His reaction is not OK though. I would suggest for his and yours physical and mental health he should consider relocating and staying somewhere else, he doesn't sound very stable. Does he have form for this type of behaviour?

There is no excuse for violence especially within the home
You have also been incredibly selfish and I’d been very upset if I were your partner

Neither one of you is looking good in this situation. He is way out of line with his reaction but fuck me what on earth were you thinking?

His reaction was definitely over the top but seriously why the hell would you go out socialising when hes high risk. No bloody wonder he was angry

Thankyou ..I can see now how my intentions seemed selfish in trying to do good .my coffee pal is in a state over a pending cancer diagnosis & I also made sure that my 95 year old grandmother had everything she needed as well as my at risk parents before knowing that even though thank god at this moment all of us are symptom free now is the time to not be going out.. I fully intend to stay in now that we have food and supplies to see us through the next 2 weeks .

Adults are allowed to be angry, they are allowed to be express their upset if they feel someone has been selfish. They are not allowed to smash up someone else's property and kick them out of the place they live, especially if they are supposed to love that person!

Your DP is right. The sooner we break the chain of carriers (coffees out) the sooner the it is contained and managed.

At the moment we are reacting to this pandemic. Once we are all isolated the quicker we can contain and start to rebuild.

Look at China.

I don't want us to end up like Italy.

No excuse for violence but meeting for a coffee is not an essential trip and you are supposed to be social distancing.
If you care about your loved ones health you must stay at home

Necessary supplies - not selfish.

Coffee out - very selfish

What? People are excusing a grown man smashing up a tv?

100% don’t condone him smashing the TV, but we had a similar post where a posters husband had gone to the pub and the advice was to lock him out, obviously doesn’t apply if the offender is a female and not male. ALSO RESTATING I do not condone the smashing of TV or his reaction at all, but on a thread earlier people were telling the poster to lock him out

It seems a lot of people just don't understand the risks and think the rules don't apply to them.

Although I do understand your dilemma about wanting to support your friend and grandmother....

Because this is something we've never had to do before it's taking a lot to get it to sink in and become the new normal for now.

I had a friend last week tell me I was silly for not wanting a hug... Then grabbed me anyway. I didn't smash up his TV but it did piss me off quite a bit.
And made it clear I would be staying home and having no visitors again for the foreseeable.

Hopefully this won't go on too long but equally I hope everybody starts to realise there can't be any exception to the rule.
Consider this your wake up call and isolate properly.

To be clear... I didn't mean the smashing of the TV was to be considered your wake up call! That was just plain wrong.

I really hope you didn't visit your 95 year old grandmother and your parents and just left supplies on their doorsteps.

I don't care what you did op
He has no right to lock you out of your own house, nor does he have the right to smash your property
There is no excuse for his behavior. There is no excuse male or female for that behavior

If he was so worried and angry, which he has every right to be, he could lock himself in a room over going down the domestic violence route.

Corona is no excuse for DV, that simple
If he had that reaction to something before all this virus shit, people would be saying leave.

WHAT AM I READING ??? How are people SO BLOODY STUPID? It is MADDENING to read Mumsnet at the moment! Every time I swear I’ve read the most stupidly irresponsible poster... another one comes along to knock them out of the top spot!

So the whole world is isolating and trying to stay inside. Your husband is high risk of having serious and life threatening symtoms of the virus and so you happily saunter out to meet a friend for coffee?? Is this an actual joke? You have been UNBELIEVABLY selfish! You have literally risked his life! What is so hard to understand here? People of the U.K. STAY INDOORS!!! Suspect your social lives for a few weeks, inconvenience yourselves for a while like the rest of the damn world is and stop being so insanely selfish and ignorant!

I’m sorry but if I was at high risk of actual death from the virus and my husband sauntered out on a totally unnecessary social visit, ignoring ALL the warnings and ignoring what the rest of the world is doing, id lock him out too! Using hand sanitizer and washing your hands only lowers your risk, it doesn’t get rid of it. The virus can be spread through the air if anyone coughs, sneezes, speaks within a 3 meter radius of you and he virus can live in the body for two weeks before it starts to show symptoms so there is no way to guarantee that anyone you meet or are around doesn’t have the virus. Only in two weeks will your poor husband be able to know that you haven’t given him the virus. No wonder he was frantic. Please take this seriously, people. How many more deaths until the U.K. realizes this is serious AND YES THAT MEANS FOR YOU TOO

I can only go out for emergencies as in food and medication. I would love to have a coffee somewhere.

I can get the anger, but smashing up things is not ok. Be careful because you don’t want to get hurt yourself, and it has been noted that DV levels may go up in this confinement period.

Meeting for coffee with a high risk friend completely stupid. Why would your high risk friend be doing this and I completely understand your high risk husbands frustrations. He shouldn't be smashing the TV but he's right to be highly pissed off.

If I was high risk and all I'd heard from everywhere I turned was that I risked death, then I would absolutely not let my stupid ignorant selfish partner in the house either. Did you not think?? Have you not been watching the news etc??

You shouldn't have gone out OP. Your high risk friend, who has cancer is obviously not thinking straight or she wouldn't have met you. You could have picked up the illness in the cafe then gone to see your frail grandmother and at risk parents, putting them at risk of death. I'm not sure what you were thinking - have you recently had a knock to the head, thus rendering you incapable of rational thought?

Your partner shouldn't have smashed your TV no ifs or buts. There's no excuse for that and I hope he replaces it. I hope you haven't infected him OP.

If he's really high risk, he'll be terrified. I'm scared and I'm not in the high risk group, but even the healthy can get very sick. It's a pandemic, and with a high risk partner, it was selfish of you. It didn't warrant smashing up the TV, though.