Police and abusive husband.

[Fightingback16]

I’m a bit scared. I’m separated from my abusive husband and living with a family member with my daughter who is 3. He is going to be isolated in our house round the corner all by himself. I stopped contact with dd in December because he is such an abusive man. I’m suffering with PTSD and I’m terrified he is going to come for me to get his daughter. I’ve called the police 3 times already. He went away for a week but he will be back at the weekend. Will the police still be available? Am I going to have to accept contact? I can’t be near that man. I’m already panicking and I’m so weak emotionally.

Let us know what the police say. You are strong. You can do this.

Well he hasn’t turned up and the police say just call them. He was mostly emotionally abusive to the extent I’ve had several nervous breakdowns over the year’s, only really realising this now. That’s probably what has been happening. I’m a bit weak mentally at the moment so probably blew it out of proportion in terms of my physical safety. I’m hoping that now I know what is “wrong” with me I can begin to help myself, you can’t fix what you don’t know is broken!

It’s not too late to apply for a non-mol if he does start trying to contact you and pressuring you. I have assisted on two applications this week. The courts are taking applications by email and the judge rings the applicant up to deal with the application. It’s free of charge. But obviously for immediate support, call the police.

Fighting, you can use this crisis to your advantage to distance yourself and get him out of your life,
this man is is not very intelligent, he is unable to control his impulses that means it will be easy to out manoeuvre him.
I do get that you are scared of him, a large physically powerful man is a very intimidating thing, but that is his only advantage and ultimately brains trump brawn.

Distance is absolutely my friend right now. Unfortunately it’s in these terrible circumstances. The traumatic bond I had with this man is disappearing. It’s not being fed with anything, whatever I was doing, advised to do is working. He is a stupid little man. I know why but I’m so very annoyed that I let this man do this to me. I’m having a bit of a problem with my anger and short temper the last week. He has left me with such mountains to climb, I hate him. I’ll get there in the end because I have a little girl who needs a strong influence to counteract this twat. It seems like an impossible journey but I’m going on it, anything is better then the one I’ve been on.

I was too easy to over power, I won’t be anymore. This has made me a stronger person. When I can get my stress and anxiety in check then I’ll be ok. He has ruined half my teeth, my body is bony and weak, I have M.E but it’s mentally where the most damage is. He has destroyed my ability to deal with anything, I hoping it will come back.

The traumatic bond I had with this man is disappearing. It's not being fed
I feel that this is a key thing, when the bond is regularly fed it grows as strong as an iron chain
when you starve it the bond turns to tissue paper and dissolves
Once the bond dissolves you can see everything much more clearly
Distance distance distance
Sending you strength and healing ❤️ 💙

Tissue paper is a brilliant word to describe it.
I had massive difficulty in the relationship finding love, it always felt so empty. I fled
so many times because I didn’t feel safe but I always went back. There was no bond from love or respect. Everything I did was either out of duty or guilt or fear. It makes me feel a bit dirty now to think of what I had to do everyday. The chain has most definitely broken, there is no looking back for answers anymore. Now I’m out of the storm I’ve tried to look for myself by looking back in the storm but its not clear. I don’t really know how I got here or how I survived but I did and now I need to work on me now, not on who I was then. One man had so much power over me he almost made me destroy myself. I would never have believed it this a year ago.