I'm sorry this is a bit morbid to some. This is my 1st experience of losing someone close and I dont know how I should be dealing with it.
I didnt grow up close to family. It was just me and my kids for a long time. My great aunty got in touch and we meant a few times so she could meat her new great great nieces.
I'm in the uk, she was from the USA.
For the past 2 years we messaged back and forth with updates and photos. Then in february I noticed she was opening my messages but not replying. She had done this before then messaged she was depressed so I thought this was similar.
But my messages and photos after this went unopened which was not like my aunty. She looked every day despite not replying.
Then I got a call from my mum telling me she was found in her bed.
I cant stop thinking about her. I keep looking at when I see she last looked at my messages. I know she is gone but I have since sent her 3 more messages. One telling her I just found out and I hope she has a peaceful sleep, and the other 2 messages I told her about day to day stuff like before!
I'm sorry, I dont know what I expect to hear. I know she is gone, im not in denial, I just dont know if I'm ready to let go.