Trapped. Ex will not remove me from mortgage

[A1992M]

I separated from my ex 8 months ago. I asked that he applied for me to be removed from the mortgage but he refused because he was in debt so would not be able to apply for a new one. I waited for him to pay off his credit cards and asked again, and again and again. I ask constantly but he just says he'll get round to it.
I have a child and I want to move out, it is making me incredibly ill being here however, I am currently unable to work (due to my child) so have applied for a council house until I return to work. The problem is I do not qualify as I am still on the mortgage. I am trapped here and do not know what to do. I desperately want to leave but it seems the only way I can is relying on him. Is there anything I can do? Anyone I can contact? Any advice from people who have been in the same situation? Thank you.

Have you tried speaking to CAB or getting some advice from a solicitor? Some do a free half an hour

the bank are unlikely to just let him take your name off the mortgage unfortunately as he would have to remortgage and it doesn't sound like he has the money to do this, the only way would be to sell the house and that depends on agreement between you and if the house sale will cover the mortgage outstanding.

I've spoken to CAB, they said to speak to my mortgage lender, who have said there's nothing they can do

@elliemcx, he has the money, he's on a very good wage just had a few credit cards that needed paying off which he done in a couple of months. He refuses to sell as it's 'his home, and I can leave if I want but I'm not taking that away from him'

It's a very tough one, the problem is that the bank probably assessed the mortgage on two incomes so it would need to be a complete remortgage and depend on their assessment of his wage etc

You need a solicitor, not Mumsnet.

A solicitor can outline both your options and his - agree to remortgage or forced sale etc.

You can do a forced sale I think, but you need a solicitor to explain the detail and I believe it's not a quick process so sooner you're on it the better.

Maybe post on the legal matters board? You should know - how much equity is in the property, how much is owed (roughly) and whether you are joint tenants or tenants in common. All of those facts will be relevant. And talk to the lender yourself, don't take his word for anything!

You need a solicitor - if he wont buy you out, then a sale can be forced. He might change his mind when he is faced with £££s in legal fees

If it is jointly owned could you start steps to take him off mortgage?! Then sell it? Maybe a bit extreme but if he won't help.

Take him to court to force the sale of the house. I'm having to do this with my ex at the minute 🙄

You can’t just be “removed” from a mortgage because you want to be. If he doesn’t want to sell then you need to agree that he buys you out - for which he’d need to have enough money to pay you your share of any equity if there is any plus qualify for the full mortgage amount based on his own salary; and even on a decent wage this might not be enough for the lender.

Taking him to court to force a sale is the other option but makes no sense if he could afford to buy you out and wants to stay living there. Tell him you’re going to seek legal advice to this end and that if he thinks he could afford the mortgage solo now is the time to start behaving like a sensible adult and negotiate with you.

Are you leaving because you are in an abusive RS?

He is bullying and punishing you.

This could well be financial abuse / coercive control if you have a paper trail of asking him to buy you out or sell the house.

You are not trapped.

It is called brinkmanship. He wants you to leave with nothing. Speak to a lawyer and start proceedings to force a sale. No doubt he will take action before it costs him £££ to attend a court case he won’t win.

Are you still living together? Are you married? Do you have DC together?

Are you scared of him especially if you are doing social distancing and maybe lockdown?