Father access during Corona

[anotherdisaster]

Does anyone else have issues with their ex partner seeing their kids during this outbreak? My ex is a nightmare having the kids as it is (he can't cope with them) and only has them 4 nights a month. He lives with his mother who is in her 70s (but in good health I believe) but he has already started hinting that the kids perhaps shouldn't be there as it puts her at risk.
Am I being unreasonable to think this is just an excuse and that they should still be going? If he refuses to have them, it could be months before this all calms down.

It’s probably an excuse but the kids shouldn’t go. We are staying away from all elderly relatives in good health or not.

He’s right. I wouldn’t expose her to the children due to the risk

Well, his mother should be self isolating and not near anybody who may be infected so from her point of view it’s not unreasonable and is following the guidelines.

The fact he is a nightmare generally is I feel a separate issue in this.

This whole situation is going to be hard on so many people everywhere but we all have to do the right thing and follow the guidelines.

Fair point although I read the medical correspondent advice on the BBC about grandparents who live with kids. He recommends to carry on as long as both kids and everyone else in the household are socially distancing. We're just coming up to the end of 14 day isolation (my son had a cough) so there is practically no risk of them having it.
Maybe I;m the selfish one as I;m not sure how I can cope on my own with them for weeks without any break!

The first thing my ex said was he wasn't having the kids. This is a pattern with him but not going to argue with this pandemic

I definitely don't want to put anyone at risk.

I think what annoys me is that he is still going out to work every day, then going home to his mother which puts her more at risk than my kids going over (after 14 days in isolation).

He could easily go and stay with his younger sister who lives alone as that would really keep his mother safe.

Yes but if he's anything like mine he is a lazy selfish entitled arse. It makes me laugh when some people post about dads having 50/50. Some men don't want to see their kids and there's fuck all we can do about it

@yesterdaystotalsteps123 well mine is one of them. To be honest, if he didn't live with his mother, he would deliberately develop a cough and say he has to self-isolate anyway. I guess if he doesn't want to see them he will find a way.

I have not been able to self-isolate 100% anyway because I'm a single mother with no family. No friends who live near enough to help. So I HAVE to go out and get certain things. HE wouldn't ever offer to help.

We're in Austria and the government announced today that children who are the subject of shared custody should stay with the primary carer and not have any physical contact with the non-resident parent.

It is going to be really tough where there is any tension over custody or if a parent is looking to get out of their responsibilities.

We were also told to expect lockdown to last for months, not weeks.

Oh God, cracker, I am dreading something like that putting even more strain on my custody arrangements.

I feel sorry for the parents who actually want to see their kids, being deprived. I know it would kill me being away from mine for weeks/months.

I live with my dad, who is 66, and my daughter. I don't want my ex having contact as his gf works as a nurse in a hospital but for now we haven't stopped contact.