How often would your family see you kids if you didn't make the effort?

[Cheesepleas3]

Just that really. If you didn't take your kids to see grandparents, aunties & uncles etc how often would they see them? Would they come to you?
I've realised recently if I never took mine to see family then they would virtually never see them as they never come to me. Wondering if anyone else is the same?

My side never but that's fine with me as I can't stand them
There dads side daily if they could but its about 1 a week for ds and now dd is at university whenever shes back home

NEVER! FIL comes on there birthday and Christmas and DH takes our eldest round once in a blue moon

My dad never comes round and neither does my mum!

My side visit us weekly - not to do childcare, we just enjoy spending time together as we're a close family. We also take the kids to them regularly.

DHs family tend to arrange gatherings a couple of times a year for everyone to get together, then we might see family individually if they're passing our area. Otherwise it tends to be very long gaps between meetings.

Both set ups seem to work for each family as they're quite different

I should add we also make the effort to see DHs family when we can, it's just a little trickier

Ours only have one grandparent. They seen them maybe once a year, twice at a push. Really upsets me but what can you do. They both have disabilities and we can’t drag them on a three hour car journey too often

My side lives 220+ miles from us and I used to go up with the babies at least 4 times a year until recently. It dawned on me they hadn't visited us once. We've stopped going and they've not even got in touch to ask why!

My family, probably never. My husband's family probably every couple of months.

My parents used to come over once a week - less frequently these days (even before Covid) because they're getting older and finding it tiring. DH's parents haven't visited since Christmas. They were planning to come in April but I guess that will be cancelled now.

Never.

Complicated situation in my case. My son has two grandparents living, neither of whom have ever been bothered with him. And not due to distance.

I asked one GP to look after DS in the morning (so 3 hours) before I married his dad - the look on her face. You'd have thought I'd asked her to dance naked down the high street.

My own Grandma was as welcoming to him as I ever could have wished. (She ended up looking after him on the wedding morning!)

I am sad that my DS won't have a loving relationship with GPs, but at the end of the day I firmly believe it's better to have no relationship than a toxic one.

My family literally daily if they could, but at least weekly.
My DS fathers side of the family, a couple of times a year at most and they live around the corner from us. That includes his father, currently DS has not seen his dad's side of the family in over 6 months i'd say. His dad its been at least 3 months. I find it disgusting.

I’d say never for both sides. We always do the visiting and the phoning , I can’t remember the last time any family member was in our house! That’s pretty sad.

My husbands family have visited us around 5 times in the 8 years we've lived in our own house. My family visit several times a year. I've put my foot down seeing his family because the effort is never returned, we have 2 kids and a dog to take on a 2 hour journey to see them.

My parents would possibly be about once a year. It's more usual for either us to visit or I've paid for them to stay near us in a hotel a couple of times. They live over 100 miles away. I do speak to my dad every Sunday.

My siblings we only see every few years anyway as we aren't close.

My ex sister in law probably once a year, some times twice.

My exH died a few years ago and we don't have any contact with his family at all.

Never, on my side, we do live 500 miles away but in beautiful city which is a major tourist destination so a good place to come visit. My mum used to visit but is now unable to travel due to illness and the rest never bothered ( one visit in the twenty five years I have been here and that was pre kids) . It makes me very sad if I think about it for any length of time.

I always say to DH, as long as we learn from our parents mistakes and give our DC a good life and are them for them and our GC one day then they will be happy!