Between a rock and a hard place

[RLL78]

I am currently living, well, existing, with the father of my six month old baby.

Life for the past 5 months have been hell. We don't get on, at all, l feel suffocated, dismissesld and that l am here simply to take care of the baby and get yelled at when things don't go my partner's way.

I work full time and then take care of the baby and run the house, wash his clothes, make and stock the house with food.

From my partner's end there is never a word of appreciation, quite the contrary. He almost never helps with the baby, only make demands and sees himself in the position of telling me how l should or not treat our son. One classical exemple is that he criticizes me for spoilling the baby, that l spend too much time with himin my arms!! Hello, he is 6 months!!!

He knows l have no family or friends around so he takes advantage to dominate me on the basis that if l am not under his wing l'd be alone with the baby. My family is 9000 km away, in another continent.

I bought a house so l can move in with my son, but now this Coronavirus situation is not helping as our country is put on lockdown.

I really don't understand how l ended up in this place. I used to live alone, in my own house, my job provides me with a nice salary so l am and always have been financially independant. On the other hand, now with the little one l feel crippled.

I have no idea on what to do, only that l am losing my wits.

The hatred l feel towards my partner is enough to wish him dead, it would be a favour if he just dropped out of this life.

Help?

Why cant you split up? If you own a house and you are not married cant you kick him out, or move to your house?

Throw him out!

I am almost ready to move in but now with the lockdown due to the virus no moving company will transport our (mine and the baby's) belongings to the new house. And l can't move into an empty apartment with a 6 mon old.

You're doing great. You're doing the right thing by the sounds of it. Crappy your can't move immediately. Could a friend come help you in a Zip van? Just take the basics?

Maybe write a list of the reasons you're leaving. It'll keep you focused and hello your process your anger.

Observe not absorb is your mantra. Watch it all happen but don't let our effect you. Can't remember who came up with that saying....

Good luck!

Hire a van or a large car and just move your essential belongings. Sleep on the floor if you have to.

There will be plenty of people with vans willing to do a moving job for you. That is a barrier you are inventing. You need to make the decision to move - and then live a great life with your son. All the very best

Hire a truck and advertise for a driver and assistant to help with the removal. You guys deserve better.

Put out a message on Facebook. There will be plenty of people with vans keen to earn a few extra pounds right now. I would get out now if I were you!

Remember your midwife team and health visitor are here to help. I'll advise you to get in touch with them and ask for assistance. They will be bound by a duty of care to help you.
They are also trained in domestic abuse issues so can direct you in the right direction for further help.
Do you have any real life friends to confide in? Maybe someone from your home place? I know I prefer people from my country as there's a shared knowledge there already......

I have friends from other places but au least one or two friends with s similar background is grounding enthusiasm you live far away.....

*when you live far away

Thanks, everyone! I appreaciate all your suggestions.

The thing is, l am not in the UK atm, and when l say lockdown the only business that are open are pharmacies and supermarkets. People are scared, l am scared.

I thought about putting a local ad but in times like these there is always the danger of buying a problem bigger than the one you have.

I am not looking for excuses, otherwise l wouldn't have invested in a new house.

It's all too messy right now
.

If you are locked down with this abuser then this is serious. Don't hesitate to call the police if you are feeling threatened. As a previous poster said, contact your health visitor. Is there a domestic violence charity, the equivalent of Women's Aid, where you are? I think being in a women's hostel would be preferable to being trapped with an abuser for the next 3 months. Good luck