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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to get over co-dependency feeling after leaving abusive relationship?

2 replies

Fightingback16 · 18/03/2020 16:23

Once you’ve left an abusive relationship and know you are over it, don’t want to go back, can’t stand them, relieved, thank your lucky stars, What did you do with that lost feeling you have inside. I guess it’s a co-dependant feeling. I only know how to do things for him, doing things for myself feels weird and just wrong. My husband created reasons for me to need him, situations for me to fix for him. He just wanted me to think I needed him and he loved to feel that I needed him. He kept me weak so that I needed him to fix me. How do you get that feeling to go away? I can’t stand him but deep inside my brain it wants me to think I can’t do it without him. I hope that makes sense.

OP posts:
NoMoreDickheads · 18/03/2020 16:48

I happened to find another friend with disabilities (he had disabilities) that I can run around after a bit. I also am doing the Freedom Programme and the women there all support each other. Plus I plan to volunteer for Women's Aid.

He has tried to make you think you can't cope on your own- but he's wrong. You might have some self doubt, but you are coping and proving him wrong.

Also, reach out for any support you can find- counselling etc- things might often be over the phone at the moment, but will still help.

Fightingback16 · 18/03/2020 16:51

He succeeded for a long time. I’m ok and can function well with all the basic things required for being alive Grin it’s just this stupid feeling that I have.

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