Almost 5 months in to a relationship with someone I really really like and am falling for fast.
A month in to us dating, he saw his ex on a night out and found out she was with someone else. He came to mine the following day (as was the plan, it was our fifth date) and I could tell something was bothering him. He admitted he had seen her and she had introduced the new man and that it was a bit of a shock to him especially that she hadn’t told him separately rather than finding out like that, as they have mutual friends. When I pressed him, he said he had thought about the prospect of them getting back together even though he knew deep down it wasn’t right. He said he wanted to be honest and that he very much wanted to continue dating and that he likes me a lot etc etc. I was of course incredibly wary of all this but ultimately was understanding as it was early days. We took things very very slowly and went from strength to strength.
So here we are now. Spend most nights together in the week, met each other’s families, talk about the future. Then this lunchtime he gets back from work and tells me she has text him, shows me the message and says he wanted me to know and that he wouldn’t reply if I didn’t want him to. The message was bland, asking how he was and whether his work had been affected because of corona. She’s still in the new relationship as the profile photo is with this new man.
It’s thrown me a bit. Why has she been in contact? What’s the purpose? Should I be bothered? Do I have a right to be bothered? I’ve said it’s up to him what he says or doesn’t say and that I won’t police that as it isn’t right. He said he is committed to me and although he did want her back in the early days of dating me, that isn’t the case now.
Am I blowing this out of proportion? It’s made me feel wary all over again.