I think I'm losing attraction to my long-term partner...

[duckingterrified]

I really hate feeling this way, but after nearly 3 years together I often find myself struggling to keep up the attraction/spark on a daily basis. Sometimes, I just don't feel very much when I look at him and it kills me because he's he most loving, attentive person who always takes care of me always worked so hard on our relationship.

But then other times (usually when I haven't seen in him several days) I'll feel attracted to him again because it's like I've missed him and I forgot what he looks like and all his mannerisms etc, and I'll be all cuddly and affectionate with him. But then after a few days together I'll lose it again. It seems like its all my problem and I just wish I knew how to resolve it.

I was looking through old photos the other day (trying to re-ignite the attraction) but it was like I didn't even connect with the man on the photo. We took loads of photos together on holiday and we looked so happy back then, but I'm looking at like 'who are those two people?'. It's such an isolating feeling.

Does anyone else experience fluctuating attraction to their partner?

Omg. Yes

OP - I think almost all long term couples feel this way and I think it's unusual for people in long term relationships to feel desire constantly. The idea is that your relationship comes to mean more than that and your love goes a bit deeper which makes up for the ebb and flow. That's not that I'm saying you should stay in the relationship if it makes you unhappy of there isn't that deep love there. I just don't think it's realistic to expect that a fulfilling relationship has to include intense attraction every day. Or maybe that's just me.

this is normal and I'd advise you to give it more time and not over think it. I go through waves of attraction after 5 years but it always peaks then goes again (especially hormone related!)
there isn't likely to be a" spark" after 3 years, that gives way to deeper love, understanding and appreciation with sparky bits popping up occasionally that remind you.