So sad and hurt

[Heartbrokenandsad]

Found a saved message on boyfriends phone on snapchat that he sent to another girl. I confronted him and he denied at first obviously.
Since then he has apologised non stop. I have moved all my stuff out of his house and gone back home to my mums where there is no room for me I am on sofa bed downstairs all my stuff still in my car as no room for it anywhere.
I feel so sad and alone with nowhere to go. I can’t believe he would do this to me I really trusted him. He said was a drunken mistake and he has never cheated or ever would bla bla bla. Saddest thing is I really want to forgive him but I know things will never be same again. We had a holiday booked but luckily that’s been cancelled now. Ffs wtf did I do to Deserve it I feel so sad.
Sorry it’s jumbled I am on phone. Normally I am more coherent but have a headache of doom.

I’m so sorry, it’s a horrible situation to be in. But you did exactly the right thing. If he denied at first then said it was a drunken mistake, he’s not taking responsibility and is being beyond disrespectful. Hang on in there, you’ll be better without him x

Thanks for reply. I just don’t feel strong enough to see it through I feel like I will end up forgiving him I want to believe what he says but I swing from being so sad and desperate to angry and heartbroken and everything in between

Your hurt and angry, rightfully so!! But making rash decisions now is not a good idea. You have gone to your mums so you will have a bit of breathing space which is good but you need to look at the relationship as a whole and see if it's worth saving. Some are! I would be heartbroken in your situation but my situation is my husband is generally a very good kind man and if I thought I could move past a single moment of stupidity I would. Only you know your fella and whether it's likely he is telling the truth. Good luck.

I’m sorry. It’s an especially bad time to be going through a break up too!

But be strong & stay broken up. Going back is signing up for more if the same! No matter what he SAYS. If you forgive him, he’ll do it (and worse!) again.

Be strong - you CAN do this. Look at the other housing options.

Do not forgive his horrible sleazy behaviour or his attempts to take no responsibility for it. This will be an episode that leaves you with a crystal clear sense of what you are worth going forward x

Thank you for replies I appreciate them all.
I know deep down if I ever went back it would never be the same anyway but I really trusted him not to do this to me. God I am such an idiot.
I wanna believe his apology so bad but I can’t forgive him for how i am feeling now. I know it was only a message but it was the content and I keep reading it back to myself in my head and crying so much. I feel like a child I’m 27 ffs!!

what was the content of the msg? dick pic?

Stay broken up.
He's only sorry he got caught.

Not a dick pic no although who actually knows!! Just something u don’t send another girl when you are in a relationship.
I did message the girl in a fit of anger (I am cringing now so unlike me!) she replied basically saying what he said that it was a one off message he has never sent anything like that since and she thinks he was probably drunk! Doesn’t take away from the fact he actually sent it in the first place!! Arghh

aw you poor thing… when he's sober he is still thinking these things... alcohol makes him brave enough to say it out loud

I can’t stop crying I can’t sleep

Actually the fact that you dumped him immediately and didn’t believe any of his bullshit is a really good sign. It shows emotional intelligence and self-esteem, even though you may not feel like it at the moment. You should hold your head high and remind yourself that you are not a spineless sap who is going to fall for that kind of shit from anyone at any time. You know that if you let him get away with it once, he will do it again in a bigger way, and it will be harder to leave because you will have invested more time and emotion into the relationship. He wasn’t thinking about you in that moment. He wasn’t loving you then. No matter what he says to make himself feel better, it was a betrayal.

Hire a storage locker for your stuff. Don’t go back. Take some time to think about what you want to do next

Why was the message saved? I don't use snapchat so don't know if it is done automatically but I don't think so? You've caught him once but maybe he's done it before or gone further. He did wrong and he lied so you'll struggle to trust him again. You did the right thing op

@justilou1 - everything that she says is totally spot on . You have emotional intelligence, and that’s a great thing to have . Good for you for giving yourself time away from him .
I also ,like another poster ,wonder why he kept the message? Was it only one or had others been deleted .
Only you know if it was totally out of character, are there other things that in hindsight you are wondering about now ?
Gut feeling is that if he does it once , in the future it will happen again and again , esp if he sees he got away with it .

@Musti he said he didn’t mean to save the message which tells me he was gonna carry on as normal with me and hope I would never find out.
I am so angry now. I have cried enough. I hate him for what he’s done and I know he will probably do it again whether it be in 6 months or a year or whatever. He will never be happy with me I wasn’t enough for him

He saved it to feed his ego at a later date. You have made the right call. Don’t question yourself or allow him to minimize his behaviour. “It was only a text...” There is a good chance he will try gaslighting you by making it appear that your reaction is disproportionate to his behaviour. It isn’t.