Relationship advice

[Dee009]

Where should i be in his list of priorities? It seems like it goes his family, kids, friends, his ex then me.

I'd say
Kids
You
Family
Friends
Ex.

Just my opinion tho. How long have you been together?
How are things with the ex, does he need to keep her sweet as such to see the dc?
Have you met the dc?

There is no "should" for this question though. Everyone answers this differently, and their answer will also change depending on their current life situation.

The question to answer is whether YOU are ok with where you are in your partner's priorities.

You can't expect someone to overturn their basic values for your benefit. It's one of those "fit in or fuck off" things - you need to find a partner who you don't have to correct / argue into thinking as you do....

His house should always be first.

You, then kids. Without you, there would be no kids.

Once his house is in good order, then he can look after extended family.

As for friends...unless they have his life and family (You and kids) in their best interest, they are not friends. There is a night and day difference between drinking buddies, and true friends.

His ex...If he has kids with her or not, should be last.

I would be very weary of a man who didn't prioritise his kids.

Kids
You
Family
Ex
Friends

If the ex is the mother of his children, otherwise she shouldn't even be on the list.

He has a dc to her and one to me. I feel very alone in this relationship and i have said so many times i do and he doesn't care. I do not know what to do, i have no one to talk to about this because no one seems to understand. In my head i am screaming and ibfeel like I've totally lost myself. I sound so ridiculous i know.

I think it depends how long you've been together, and how serious you are really.

You aren't ridiculous. You are clearly hurting. If he isn't going to listen and work to resolve this situation/compromise, I think you need to work out whether staying together is right for you.

@Dee009

I feel very alone in this relationship and i have said so many times i do and he doesn't care.

If you've told him you are unhappy many times, and he doesn't care, then you've sort of done all you can, haven't you?

I know you came here to ask whether he was right to put so many other things ahead of you...
But the thing is...
It doesn't matter if he's right or wrong or what other people think of his choices.

It matters that YOU are unhappy, and that he knows you are unhappy, and he isn't really arsed.

You know what you need to do, if you want to have a chance at being happy, don't you? You can't get blood from a stone here. Wouldn't it be best to cut your losses and get shut of this guy? What's stopping you from doing that?

If you are so far down the priority list he is taking you for granted and prioritising others over you. Doesn’t sound like your relationship is made in heaven. Good talk needed and perhaps some time alone for each of you to co suffer what you want.

Is he very religious or from a culture where his parents at and siblings traditionally get prioritised?

Co suffer should read consider.

Fat thumbs....

I always had and still have a feeling hes with me for our dc and handy access to his dc with his ex as i live in the same town as his ex.

@Dee009 ok... so you're only talking about him here. What are YOU going to do?

You're with someone who you've always suspected is half arsed about you... and he behaves in a way that seems to prove that. So what can you change about this situation to make yourself happier?

I feel very alone in this relationship and i have said so many times i do and he doesn't care

And it has been like this for a long time?

Would you not feel better feeling alone on your own?

Can you make a list of good things he brings to your life? And a list of reasons why you can't or don't want to leave? Look at your lists: What good things would you actually miss? What can you do about the reasons that make it difficult to leave?

Have you talked to your husband about this, Dee? If you asked him he may tell you something quite different.

The way things are going, with the best will in the world he won't be seeing his ex or the child he has with her for a while anyway which sucks but is sensible.

I'm sorry you feel sad about your situation but if you don't communicate, you won't know whether you are right or wrong about it. Maybe now is not the right time for the talk though, there is so much else to be concerned about.

Take care.

If you believe he’s with you out of convenience, I believe it’s time to end the relationship.

Good luck, whatever you choose to do.

I have tried to end the relationship, he just tells me he doesn't want to leave but cant give a reason why. I have tried to talk but i get told to shut the fk up.
There has been many times his ex has been out of line but he would never use those words with her.
His family dont see our dc unless dc is taken to visit them otherwise they would not bother. He would never day anything to get them to make more effort and if i asked them to i get tge reply 'fk sake, here we go again'

he just tells me he doesn't want to leave
Tough shit.
Is it your house?
If it's joint, then he actually doesn't have to leave.
But you need to make his life far less 'cushy'
No shopping for him, cooking, cleaning, ironing, washing etc.....
If you are still doing all this for him then why would he leave?
He's a nasty piece of work and you need to get a plan in place to end this properly.

He sounds angry and abusive.

Sounds like he is using you.

You know this.

Its down to you OP to find the strength to get him out of your life.

You sound ground down.

If the house is yours, then getting him out is YOUR decision.

You don’t need his permission to end the relationship.

He doesn’t want to leave as he would be worse off. He is using you. If he loved you tgst was his chance to tell you. He doesn’t. Sorry OP.

Look on womens aid, citizens advice or shelter websites for information about housing.

Depending on your circs you have options. Don’t let this bully define your life for you.