Being naked in front of someone new...

[GhettoMatrix]

Does anyone else struggle with this in a new relationship? My last relationship was abusive. He always told me my body was hideous. He hated my stretch marks after having our son, and I have an extremely flabby stomach. I am fairly slim and no matter how much I exercise I know I will always look this way. I've met a lovely bloke. I have no doubt that he won't care and this issue is with me. I haven't had sex in 2+ years, and haven't been naked in front of anyone since my ex. We have been on a few dates and are taking things slow, but it'll happen eventually. One thing that really bothers me is that my boobs are significantly (and I mean significantly) different sizes. I hate them. They used to be my best bit. How do I get over this? I feel pretty ugly and want to look forward to sex with a new person, but really I absolutely dread it!

Hopefully by the time it gets to that point you should comfortable enough with him to tin he willexcept you for who you are. Discuss your conearns with him.

Isn't that so unsexy? To discuss that you are worried about your lopsided boobs and stretch marks?

How about some nice crotch less underwear ... something like a teddy or a baby doll.

That’s sexy, will hide the bits you don’t like and you can wear it til you feel better with him

From experience - don't mention any insecurities, go in and pretend you are 100% confident. There's nothing more sexy than confidence. If you can't start naked then choose something bedroom-style to wear and take it from there. But BE confident.

If your not comfortable discussing insecurities with him, should you be getting naked with him??

@june2007 there's a difference between being comfortable enough to talk about insecurities and not wanting to point out all the things you hate about your body in a search for reassurance by the guy you're sleeping with 🤷‍♀️

But the point is by the time you have a physical relationship in my book you should be at the stage where you trust each other. No don,t point out all your insecurities, but you can let them know you are not 100% confident in your body.

Teddy, confidence, dim lighting - you’ll have a great time OP 😊

You are beautiful just the way you are. No one is perfect but you'll be his perfect.

Your ex is a prick. Body shaming is not okay.

I used to feel self conscious about it but since having DS I have learnt to love the body that gave me such a special gift.
My stretch marks look like a road map but they tell a story, my story. I love my body just the way it is even my uneven boobs.

Remember you are beautiful.

If he likes you - he is going to like you and not see the issues that you see. I agree with all the 'fake it till you make it' advice on here. For what it's worth, I am very hairy and would never have thought I would meet someone who really wasn't bothered by it, but eventually I did. Keep the faith!

I had a breast reduction about 15 years ago. The scars are there. In 4 years of being single and dating, not one man has mentioned them! Honestly, they're too concerned about their Dad bods now and far too giddy about being in the arms of a naked woman! Embrace a sex life!

I have significantly uneven boobs too (glad i'm not the only one!) and hate to be naked. I think if i were with a new man i would keep my bra on or wear something that covered them at first. I bet he wouldn't care/notice you covering up the first few times. I think i'd wait until he raised it as an issue before spilling the beans. He won't be bothered i'm sure but can completely understand why you feel nervous.

don't turn the light on... by the time you get to the stage when you are taking your clothes off, he will be so chuffed that he really wont care about your wobbly or uneven bits.

he might even have fears of his own...

I'm self isolating with a cough and temp anyway so at least I have 2 weeks to think about it!

If your not comfortable discussing insecurities with him, should you be getting naked with him?

Please don’t do this. Nobody has a perfect body, but what makes people truly sexy and attractive is confidence.

Act like he is lucky you’ve chosen him to get naked with. Because he is.

OP he will not care one bit when you get down to it, believe me. If it makes YOU feel better get some nice flattering underwear but you need to boost your own confidence as that's the issue here, not what he 'might' think. Remember, you are making assumptions about what he might think of you. I also guarantee he has his own insecurities going on.

I also agree, don’t be sitting him down and explaining about your stretch marks and boob issues before you shag him. Not least because that’s uncomfortable for all concerned in a new relationship but more because he probably won’t even notice, he will just be happy you’re naked.

I had a little bit of a belly when I met DH, and I've always been self conscious over my boobs but he was just happy to have me naked on him and boobs in front of him lol.

Obviously the more settled we got I found out DH actually has super insecurities about himself (no idea why he's gorgeous) but it just goes to show, we all worry about things.

And after having a giant baby and stretch marks galore all over my stomach, DH still loves my stomach

Don't worry xx and good luck

As an expert on the subject I can assure you he will find you very attractive!

Added - just don't talk to him too much - he will find it difficult to converse when he is holding is belly in!!

*his

Yes, I always struggled with this. My first bf told his friends I I'd a horrid fishy taste that he had to brush his teeth immediately for...almost two decades after finding out he thought this, I'm still hugely, hugely affected by his words and hate anyone going near me down there.

I agree that confidence is key. Think of it from his view - he probably fancies the arse of you and can't wait to see you naked. He's not going to be measuring up the size of your boobs!

I do understand the worry though and it's easier said than done. Hopefully when the time comes you won't even be thinking about your imperfections as you'll be too busy enjoying yourself :)

Best of luck!

Hello, I have two significant scars due to operations when I was a child, one on my waist and one lower. No man has ever commented in a negative way, rarely have they noticed and one said how beautiful!