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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Complicated relationship

6 replies

Anditi · 17/03/2020 16:42

I live with my partner for 1 year and 4 month, and we have been dating long distance 8 months before (i am east european girl and him is british). I m 32 years old and him is 51 years old. After i moved in everything started to change , he was talking about his ex girlfriend who he has been separed 7 years ago after a 3 years relationship together (only weekends and holiday). Long story short the chain of events, after i left my life back in my contry ( job as a flight attendant , friends, my rented flat ) i had no support in finding a new job, help to open a bank account etc. i had to do everything on my own, sex disappered completely, he sais he is not attracted anymore by me or i dont remember him who he wants , he pushed me to a trip back in my country to get rid of me . After he wanted to reconsiliate and i found a job to work six days per week. Last night we had a fight( he was physical abusive, push me 4 times so hard that i fell down on the floor) because i found out that an ex girlfriend is it on his will after a stupid joke because i always belived is his brother sister in law and his nephew. I ve started to make laugh because she knew it only 3 months and already is in his testament? He never had kids or wanted same as me, but him had plenty of relationships with single moms of 2, 3 kids.
And yes i know i m a possesive and jealous person , i m thinking why previous ex girlfriends been accepted with kids , had plenty of sex, bought them cars, recived expensive jewellery gifts and i have to put up with all the crap ?

OP posts:
Thingsdogetbetter · 17/03/2020 17:50

I would presume that all his talk of expensive gifts and lots of sex with his exs is just that: talk. You only have his word for it, and he's already proven himself to be an untrustworthy abusive twat.

It looks like this guy can only cope with long distance or part time relationships- his ex was only part time too. He obviously can't keep his nice guy act up full time.

Your relationship boundaries are far too low. He hadn't supported you after you moved to be with him, he withdrew sex, he tricked you into going home and dumped you. But you still went back to him. Why? What made you think this guy was a good choice for a relationship after that shit?

He's now ramped up his nastiness to physical abuse. You do not HAVE to put up with all the crap. But if you stay that's all you'll ever get.

WhereDidAllTheFunGo · 17/03/2020 19:22

Please dont put up with this crap.

I have seen many eastern european women see domestic abuse as normal. It isnt, you dont deserve it, you are worth more.
This guy sounds like a nasty piece of work.

Get away, be with your friends who love you, and enjoy a nicer life.

He tricked you, its all lies, actions mean more than words.

Love yourself enough to leave

rvby · 17/03/2020 19:31

It's not complicated. He's just not the person for you and the relationship is abusive and violent.

Please don't spend any more time or give up any more chances in your career, for this guy.

Walk away, rebuild your life and put it behind you.

RLEOM · 17/03/2020 22:07

I'm sorry he has put you through this - you really should leave him. This behaviour is not normal, it is not love. Find someone who Ioves you. Flowers

BellatrixLeStrangest · 17/03/2020 22:10

Life's too short. Look at what's happening in the world. Any of us could die any day. Fuck him. Leave the bastard.
Better to be alone than in a relationship and unhappy.

category12 · 17/03/2020 22:15

He's unworthy of you. Dump his arse and do better for yourself.

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