I don’t really like myself!

[Fightingback16]

Its been a few months with living with the knowledge that I’d been in an abusive relationship for 11 years, very emotionally abusive. I’ve been going through a rollercoaster of emotions. Today has been so flat and I just don’t really like myself. This person who is left over I done like, I want to be the person I was but she has gone and will never be the same. Is this normal?

Yes, your self esteem is on the floor. What's the situation now? Are you taking steps to leave?

The same as you were before? No. Because it was 11 years ago and people change.

Will you feel ok again? Yes.

Will you feel happy in yourself again and get your self confidence back? Only if you work for it. You have to learn to be happy or at least comfortable in your own company again for a start. Perhaps take up a hobby or two :)

She's not gone. She's just taken a battering and gone into hiding.

Take time to process what your ex put you through and then get tough. Don't let it define you, your self esteem is low right now, only you can build it back up.

Dust yourself off and get back out there x

Have you had any support or counselling? Doing the freedom programme would be a good idea as well.

You will get you back.

What do you dislike most about yourself?

I’m not feelings so bad today. Yesterday i felt so helpless. I’m worried about this virus. I’m at risk so I’m going to need to self isolate and I really need to be at work for my mental health. Can’t work at home. Everything feels very much out of my reach. The only thing I have is that I got out and I’m alive.

What can you do at home while self-isolating that will be constructive and give you a sense of achievement? Could you redecorate a room or something like that?

The worst is the state he kept me in, it’s hard to get past how low and pathetic he made me. I was nothing for so long. I guess it takes time to grow again. I’m a bit hopefull.

You can do the Freedom Programme online.

Also, Futurelearn do free short courses that might be interesting to occupy you?

The media doing overkill on it is not helping....but bear in mind it has been blown way out of proportion now. I'm in a risk group too, but not worried about the virus as much as the panic in ppl. Breath deep, chill. Stay away from the news...catch up on some reading, get on Skype to your friends. It will al be okay :).

I’ve done about 7 freedom programme sessions. It’s been re-traumatising me so I’m not going to continue.

I’ve got my daughter and her learning to think about, she starts school in September.