Another red flag?

[battleroyal]

Some of you may remember me posting last week regarding being 'stood up' for over 2 hours (turns out he was day drinking and fell asleep for 5 hours)
A lot of you said it was a red flag, considering we have only been dating a couple of months.
I let this slide...

This weekend, he goes out with a mate last night; last seen on WhatsApp at 0400 and then turns his phone off and doesn't turn it on again until midday today... says he went & stayed at his mates...

27/34 - is this what lads in their late 20's do?
If so I don't think I can be doing with it.
I'm all up for having a laugh with my friends every now and again, but that isn't my style...

I'm not saying i don't believe he was at his friends, but is this another red flag as it's two weekends in a row he's been sloshed, or am I overthinking / being unreasonable?

No one here can tell you where he was. You are clearly questioning everything so why not just walk away.

Whatever he was doing, I couldn't find a man with this sort of party boy lifestyle attractive anyway.

He could have got up for a wee at 4 and checked his phone. Or got an alert and then silenced it.

Personally, I wouldn't be interested in someone who drinks a great deal, or who socialised primarily with alcohol. Not that it's right or wrong, it's just unattractive to me.

In my party days I could easily have fallen asleep at 4 and not got up until midday 🤷‍♀️ And yeah loads of people in their twenties behave like this have you never been to a bar or club?!

he's a single man living a single man life... and the old 'stayed at a mates' bollocks..... lets be honest .. he's not that into you OP... sorry but it shouldn't be this hard this soon.. end this and find someone who wants to share time with you

You're at different stages of life OP.

Let him go, he needs to mature a bit. And you deserve and need someone on the same wave length.

You shouldnt be having these feelings this early on, and its fuelled by his behaviour that isnt acceptable to you.

Cut this one loose and the weight of worry will lift from your shoulders. Plenty more fish, and all that

@WhereDidAllTheFunGo you're absolutely right, sometimes you just need someone to say it straight.

Thank you!

I don't think its necessarily a red flag but I suspect he's just enjoying the single life and likes going out at weekends. I did at that age. I think you are both at different stages in life and suspect he's not interested in anything serious at the moment.

I wouldn't be with someone like this. With me reversed, spent most of my early single adult life a pissed mess.
Obviously didn't meet anyone decent because who wants a sensible relationship with someone like that.
Now teetotal and mature I'd avoid anyone like this. He has an awful lot of growing up to do and it sounds as though you are at totally separate stages in life.

If he’s not with you why are you monitoring him. You obviously have underlying worry’s and doubts about him. My bf is in his mid 40s and he’ll go out late or be at mates playing cards etc. It doesn’t bother me at all

I strongly suspect it doesn't matter what anyone says, as you will find a reason to 'let it slide' again. I'd be less worried about this, tbh, as it doesn't involve any disrespect to you.

But the two incidents together - do you want to be with someone like this? You are worried now - you've got a whole lifetime of this sort of thing ahead unless you end it with him.

So I suppose you'd better start getting used to it.