Do you think most men date women 'out of their league ?'

[Comfyslippers28]

I don't particularly believe in that at all, but just wondered if you think men would go for someone who they considered better-looking, more intelligent, talented, kinder etc. Or would they not bother, even if they knew the woman was interested ? Would it dent their ego and they would feel like they couldn't measure up ?

Wouldn't we all go for someone better looking, more talented etc if we could? Why would you not want someone as kind as you can find?

If they're actually getting to date them, they're presumably not out of their league. It's only if they keep asking people out and are always turned down they maybe need to review the type of people they're targeting.

Surely it all depends what you determine defines someone’s league. Don’t we all go for someone we are attracted to, even if that attraction isn’t for looks but personality or bank balance!

I consider my husband better looking and smarter than me. But then he thinks the same about me 🙂

Men aren’t some sort of cohesive group who act all the same.
There are less and more confident men, and it may or may not correlate with their actual looks or intelligence.
So - less confident men might not go for some women they perceive as more attractive; while more confident will.
It’s no different for women with confidence issues.

However - if you are the one thinking that you are, somehow, above someone’s league - I sincerely hope he runs a mile as this isn’t a basis for a relationship.

Well dh has...

If they really are out of the men’s league, how and why are they dating?

'Do you think most men date women 'out of their league'?

All of them do.

My boyfriend certainly did!

Bonkers. Utterly bonkers.

Research shows that relationships have the best chance of success when partners are equally paired (matching hypothesis). People don't all value the same thing, however. I.E. a man might value attractiveness most. A woman might value personality or wealth more. There is no one key factor.

Research does show, however, that men tend to rate their own attractiveness higher than women do, so men may think they're an 8/10, when others would rate them a 6 or 7. Women tend to underrate themselves. A woman may be an 8, but see herself as a 6 or 7. This means that women looking for equality may look at men "less attractive" then them without realising it, and men looking for equality may aim a little high without realising it.

Over time, personality etc. becomes more important, so this question is probably more pertinently aimed at dating/casual sex etc., than at established relationships.

Yep, absolutely

But that’s also cos women have a lot more resource to make themselves look more attractive (ie hair, make up etc) so I think women are more attractive in general than men

You also get a lot of “WTF?” if a good looking man goes out with a woman slightly less good looking than him (ie, Hugh Jackman and Piers Brosnan and their respective wives) whereas no one comments when some wrinkly old aging rocker has a beautiful wife 30 years younger

Some of them do.
Some of them don't.
You know, just like women.

No.
Many men go for attractive women.
Many men are intimidated by successful women.
Many men target vulnerable women.

What a strange question. What is the purpose in analysing men's minds anyway? and its not as if anyone can give a definite Yes or No, surely? A range of men would have a range of different values. That's it.

No, I think people tend to go for someone on a similar level to them. So similar level of beauty, intelligence, wealth etc. Occasionally people will deviate but it’s rare to see a couple where one is drastically less attractive than the other.

This:

No.
Many men go for attractive women.
Many men are intimidated by successful women.
Many men target vulnerable women.

But to add:
Some men are intimidated by good looking women.

Sometimes you marry someone equal in attractiveness to you, but then they age badly 😁

Only playing. Who cares as long as two people like each other.

Sine men are brass necked, overconfident, reach for the sky types (and trend to be the same work.wise) and go for women significantly more attractive than them. Some are overly modest, scared of rejection, "safe" leaning types who don't go for women more attractive than them, or even as attractive as them sometimes. Some (possibly most) are in between the two poles.

There are also lots of factors dictating what is deemed attractive or very attractive that varies by person (and varies by the type of relationship they're in the market for).

Some men are intimidated by good looking women.

Definitely.

Ive come to think it's actually "easier" in life & relationships for a woman to be attractive, rather than beautiful. Sometimes the latter is lucky (though their character & self esteem has a lot to do with it) and meets a great guy, but often they have a harder time of it with so many average guys thinking she's out of their league, and a subset of Napoleon/Stalin/Putin (often sociopathic or worse) types being the main ones who go for her and she ends up with one of them (or a string of them).

Equally if he treats her badly, as that type often does, it wrecks her head because society tells her that life is perfect for beautiful people, beautiful women always "win" .. so why is this happening.

but just wondered if you think men would go for someone who they considered better-looking, more intelligent, talented, kinder etc. Or would they not bother, even if they knew the woman was interested ? Would it dent their ego and they would feel like they couldn't measure up ?

Entirely depends on the man.

I.E. a man might value attractiveness most

What does this even mean? Surely we all rate attractiveness the highest, or do people hook up with people they aren't attracted to? Sober?

I assume valuing physical attraction over intellectual attraction.

So the title should be "Do you think most men might date women out of their league"