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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice needed

3 replies

Katym85 · 15/03/2020 08:08

Hello ladies I'm looking for some advice. I've been with my SO for over 3 years now. It's an OK relationship (if it is that). I know each relationship is different but I don't feel connected to him like I was with my previous partner. We hardly talk or have a laugh. I have more cinvsrsations/jokes/laughs with people that I work with. I do have a bit of trust issues as my first love lied about his where abouts and who he was with( he was with other girls) when we were together. My current partner went on a stag do not long after we met and when he came back I noticed he/she added each other on Facebook. I challenged this and he deleted her and said he never slept with her (which I do believe). Recently I noticed a girl on his Instagram who lives locally. I asked him about her and he said she works where he does but I know this is not true. I don't have an issue with him being friends/ adding girls he knows/ works with. My issue is he's adding/following girls he doesn't know. And it's the typical skinny, pretty, blonde girls. I feel like he wants something different. Excitement. I don't know. And he's always on his phone. Am I right for having these concerns? Does anyone else feel this way.

OP posts:
category12 · 15/03/2020 08:18

Why not end things and be on your own for a bit? You don't talk or have fun - and you don't trust him. Why are you settling for that?

You need not to take your past baggage into new relationships, and perhaps counselling would help with that.

But what's the point of your relationship? It sounds meh at best. Don't be with some bloke just for the sake of not being single.

Katym85 · 15/03/2020 08:46

I'm worried about my little girl (he's not her biological dad) who's 6 as she's grown to like him and they get on. I dont want to be a mum who has different men all the time. Its not that I don't trust its the fact he's adding/following girls on social media that he has met maybe once and doesn't know them. On both instances he has deleted them when I've challenged this but I'm worried it will happen again (if it hasn't already). I don't think I put enough in the relationship because I'm worried ill out in the effort for it to be thrown in my face.

OP posts:
category12 · 15/03/2020 08:56

Why would you be a mum who has different men all the time if you got rid of this one? There are alternatives to a stream of blokes through your house.

If you trusted, you wouldn't be scanning his social media for things to get upset about and policing him. Do you really want to be that person?

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