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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

blokes online

19 replies

Flute56 · 15/03/2020 00:15

I have been chatting to a bloke online. He seemed ok until then he told me a few things that I did not believe like he is wealthy. He was annoyed i did not believe him and things cooled off. Then something happened and someone who chatted to him said he was a perve and showed me his conversation with them. Then he contacted me and said it was a set up and he just went along with it for a laugh and that he is not a perve. He said the person approached him and encouraged him and that if he really was that way inclined he would have spoken to me like that and he has never done so. I really do not know what to believe

OP posts:
Meme05 · 15/03/2020 00:21

Too much drama already, Ditch it.

Flute56 · 15/03/2020 00:31

yes. I do not need or want a perve and his excuse for doing it is a lame one

OP posts:
snowdaynoday · 15/03/2020 00:33

They don't do it with everyone.
So guys will work out who they can and can't sext or will try in on layer down the line

Wheezycheezeball · 15/03/2020 00:43

I ended up with a stalker and it started a bit like this, only I wasn’t doing OLD or looking for a man. Run. Block.

Flute56 · 15/03/2020 01:21

I asked him if I sent him a suggestive message would he reply in the same way and he said no because he has chatted to me long enough to know I would never send him a suggestive message and if I did he would not reply in the same way back. However the person who sent him a suggestive message got one back from him because he knew it was a set up and he was up for a laugh and did not take it seriously but with me he said he liked me and wanted to treat me with the respect I deserved because I am not a lose woman.

He has got me well sussed out and I am not that way inclined but the other people wanted to expose him as a pervert and they have succeeded and it was done in a personal message but put in the main room for all and sundry to see which in my opinion is cyber bullying. I said to him it should be reported and he should leave and he said no because if he does leave then they have won and they have bullied him out of the site and he is not going to allow them to win so he stays. That to me is insane. Why stay in a place where you are being victimised but he is not exactly helping himself by giving them what they want ie being a perv. It is simply giving them ammunition and making the situation worse. Others will do it to him because they think he is up for it. He is an adult in his 40s and should know better. Having said that, he could be a teenager for all I know. Anyone can pretend to be anyone online. I am well out of the whole thing

OP posts:
Onthemaintrunkline · 15/03/2020 01:24

Meme05’s onto it, too much drama, ditch.

nachthexe · 15/03/2020 01:25

You sound very invested for someone out of the whole thing.
Just block and move on. Don’t waste a second more thinking or typing about it.

Flute56 · 15/03/2020 01:33

he is now blocked

OP posts:
TimeForPlentyIn2020 · 15/03/2020 01:41

Why on earth would you engage with him about it??? You can block someone at any time for any reason you want. You don’t even need a reason if you don’t want. So you suspect someone has lied or is a perve - block.

Flute56 · 15/03/2020 02:20

I engaged with him about it because we did have some nice interesting chats and no matter what someone else has done, I will always let them know why I do not want to speak to them any longer and I would want someone to do the same to me. I do not believe in just blocking someone out of the blue and leave them wondering why I did it. Perhaps I would not explain why if it was a casual chat but he and I chatted daily for about an hour

OP posts:
Flute56 · 15/03/2020 02:23

I became suspicious when he told me he owned three houses one of which has 5 bedrooms, a swimming pool, a sauna and a gym and a garage big enough for 4 cars. I think not

OP posts:
MashedSpud · 15/03/2020 02:33

Is this an online world thing like Second Life?

Flute56 · 15/03/2020 02:38

never heard of online world but no its a regular internet chat site

OP posts:
DeeCeeCherry · 18/03/2020 15:11

He said she said drama. Don't bother with all this, it's pointless just leave him alone. Perhaps focus on why you're still drawn to a blatant fantasist. Self-care is a nice feelgood practice at times if you embrace it.

NoMoreDickheads · 18/03/2020 17:09

Well done for blocking. A bloke being a perv is not unusual, so I'd assume the person telling you was telling the truth, not him, especially as you know he lies.

pinkyredrose · 18/03/2020 17:11

What's a 'perve'?

Zaphodsotherhead · 18/03/2020 17:30

I don't know that I'd put someone enjoying sexting down as 'a perv'. He might not be for you (and I wouldn't like it either) but it's hardly perverted, is it?

NoMoreDickheads · 18/03/2020 22:15

IDK, I had an ex that many women described as 'pushy and creepy,' and who was a sleazeball, nagging women for pics etc. Is that the sort of thing you've heard that he does @Flute56 ?

If someone went to the trouble of letting others know, he must be pretty awful! My ex was ghastly. I mean, asking disabled women (not me!) for pics of their incontinence levels of nasty.

LittleWing80 · 18/03/2020 22:47

Did you not post about a similar situation some time ago?

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