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Original poster

Teen son

22 replies

Hairymonkey5 · 14/03/2020 22:14

I Found porn among my son's belongings. And he has secretly got an instagram account but has got rid of anything that I could trace back. I have not confronted him about any of this and doesn't know I know. Our relationship is not good at the moment and have had lost my temper with him recently...in response I have taken the porn and hidden it. As I am affraid he may take it to school to hide and get caught with it. Can anyone advise me?

OP posts:
SomeoneElseEntirelyNow · 14/03/2020 22:17

How old is he? He'd have to be pretty freaking dense to take porn to school so I wouldnt worry about that.

I wouldn't tell him you found it, but sit down with him for a chat about porn, unrealistic expectations and the related exploitation of women. No judgement, just facts.

aliciaroberts1985 · 15/03/2020 03:02

let him be.

vegas888 · 15/03/2020 03:55

Sounds like normal part of growing up. It’s everywhere on the internet at the click of a button (sadly).

Northernparent68 · 15/03/2020 06:36

this Is a disturbing post.

Searching your son’s possessions and then hiding his porn is weird behaviour. He has the to privacy.

BitOfFun · 15/03/2020 06:42

Actual printed pages of porn?

restingbitchface30 · 15/03/2020 07:20

A teenage boy has porn, Stop the press! It’s really nothing to b concerned about. I think my kids have Instagram too, even though I’ve told them I don’t want them to have it. It’s ok I remember what it was like been a teen. And me and my teenage son really don’t get along most the time either. I’d really stop worrying so much. And give him his porn back!

Anothernick · 15/03/2020 09:58

All teenagers look at porn. Standard part of growing up. You may not like it but its a fact. Most continue to look at it as adults, especially men. And almost all of them go to have normal loving relationships with their partners. Stop worrying.

strawberrylipgloss · 15/03/2020 10:15

What's the problem with the Instagram account? Totally normal for an over 13 to have one (perfectly fine not to have one too) Is he using it to bully or pester people for nudes?
With regards to the porn- I'm surprised that he's not looking at the free stuff online. Porn is for 18+ but sadly it's very common for teens to look at it. As long as it's not other students from school or illegal content - I would go batshit over that

Original poster
Hairymonkey5 · 15/03/2020 12:42

He is 15. Nothing wrong about Instagram. It is the deception and deviousness that gets me. If he asked, that would be a different thing. I am not searching his room on a routinely, something just alerted me that his behaviour was odd. He's a quiet lad btw.

OP posts:
SomeoneElseEntirelyNow · 15/03/2020 12:50

Didnt you look at porn as a teen? Its very normal. Don't go about stealing shit from your kids and hiding it, that's deranged.

strawberrylipgloss · 15/03/2020 13:25

I think it's very unusual for a 15yr old to ask permission to download an app and register. Judging from my kids social media it's super common to have a social media profile that everyone (including parents) can see and a private alternative

baileys6904 · 15/03/2020 13:30

He's 15. You are going to alienate him further. By making it something he (or you) has to hide, you're not going to be in the position to have some valid and positive conversations.

BananaBang · 15/03/2020 13:36

Depends on the sort of porn. He's 15 so around the age where it's time for you to be keeping a careful eye on things without being overbearing - he's not 13, for example.

So I'd only wade in here if the porn you've discovered is in anyway concerning. And when do you say 'discovered,' do you mean actual magazines? DVD's? Surely died out quite some years ago!

NoMoreDickheads · 15/03/2020 13:42

Porn is normal in a teenage boy, and of course he's not going to talk about it.

He'd have to be pretty freaking dense to take porn to school

I'm surprised it's not online porn nowadays, but it wasn't/isn't uncommon for boys to take porn into school. They swap it with other boys. They wouldn't tend to get caught, and even if they were there's unlikely to be any official rules against it.

Onemansoapopera · 15/03/2020 15:45

Maybe he's not allowed the Internet 🤔

BananaBang · 15/03/2020 16:10

Well that doesn't make sense as you need the internet to have Instagram ...

JuniperSnowberry · 15/03/2020 16:22

Maybe the secrecy is because he feels he cannot talk to you. You hid his porn? Didn't decide, ooh, maybe we should have a talk about this.

The instagram I couldn't get worked up about, it isn't tinder.

ErickBroch · 15/03/2020 16:26

You sound extremely controlling no wonder he is hiding things from you

offlikeabanger · 15/03/2020 16:59

Can anyone advise me?

Talk to him! Don't play games with him. What good is hiding it? Both of you know that you know about it.

Onemansoapopera · 16/03/2020 17:44

I should have spelled it out. Maybe he's not allowed the Internet without supervision. Which is how she caught him on Instagram. Poor lad. Instagram is definitely a shower of shit but still.

SinglePringle · 16/03/2020 17:55

What is it that you’re annoyed about?

alexasaymyname · 16/03/2020 18:07

Have a talk about relationships, porn and all that type of stuff, then I'd just let him get on with it. It's normal at this age unfortunately. Make sure he understands that porn is often coercive, exploitative and puts a false picture in genuine male/female relationships.

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