Sorry if this is long. I will try and shorten it as best I can and I’m happy to answer any questions afterwards.
Been with my OH 7 years and we have one son (5) and I have a daughter from a previous relationship (age 13).
For the first couple of years it was perfect. Then he started to get paranoid over things and possessive. He doesn’t have anything to worry over as I literally only go to work and come home. I only have one friend who I see once in a Blue moon. If I got a new dress or got my nails done there was some big conspiracy. We talked through it and he said he felt insecure and I accepted it and moved on. For the last year things have really gone worse. Truth be told I want to leave (he won’t leave) but I’m not financially able to. When I’ve discussed splitting he threatens to take our son. So I muddle on avoiding confrontation. He has a go at me for everything. Like this afternoon it was because he didn’t like the volume I had the TV on. Petty stuff.
I have found myself changing my tone of voice when I speak to him as I wondered if it’s my fault and how I say things because everytime we argue he gets angry and says it’s all my fault because I make him
That way. He says I always disagree with everything he says and need to just not disagree. When I said I can have my own opinion he got even more angry and said “if you feel like people are confrontational with you a lot maybe you need to look at yourself”. It honestly
Knocked the wind out of me. When I was younger I was in a very violent abusive relationship and I took me a long time to stop blaming myself and recover. He knows all about my past so when he repeatedly stacks my character it hurts! I feel so drained and stuck. I’m not allowed to drive due to finances so rely on him for transport to work. If I’m typing on my phone I get asked what I’m doing and if I’m recording him! Bizarrely.
The above are just a small portion of examples but I’m sat here this evening thinking is he right? Am I damaged from past relationships and now overly defensive?
I should also add my daughters relationship with him has broke down and she has requested to live at my mums due to how he makes her feel. But he is insisting it’s me and her that are too sensitive and being dramatic. I don’t know anymore. Any advice appreciated. Sorry for the ramble. x