mum getting re-married is it normal for me to feel like this....

[mum2sam]

my parents divorced when i was 3 and although she had occassional boyfriends there was nothing serious.As far as ive been concerned its always been just my mum these last 23 years and shes always been there for me and the kids etc as my my oh is in the forces so its been nice to know i can call on her for help and support etc. Any way last night she came around with a new companion some one shes met at church to say shes getting married. At first i was happy for her but shocked but now ive had a sleepless night thinking about it im wondering how its gonna change our relationship.Shes leaving her house to move in with him and i barely know the guy. Does this mean i will hardly see her and will she not see the kids that much. I mean will he mind her sitting the baby and toddler around his nice house and prob trashing the place. The thing shes rarely talked to me about him and ive met him a handful of times.My relationship is strained with my oh due to his job and if it werent for my mum helping when i need it not that i ask that often it would prob break down. I guess im scared of losing her to this man who i hardly know what should i do......

I wouldnt worry too much about it. You need to let them both see that you (and your little 'uns) are happy for them and that you are willing (and looking forward) to build a relationship with her new husband. Try looking at it from the angle that you now have a new family member to rely on. I got on great with my mums second DH (my parents also divorced when I was around 3), in fact he did become my 'dad' and he is the one that I always think of as 'Dad' even though I am in contact with my biological father.
Try talking to your mum, or even both of them, about how you're feeling and tell them you're worried about losing something.

I think it is absolutely normal to feel the way you're feeling but there is no point in worrying about something that may never be a problem. You seem to have a good relationship so why don't you go and speak to her regarding your concerns and fears. Change is very hard but try not to worry.

I think im just wooried because i haerdly know him and im not sure how this is gonna affect my relationship with my mum as ive always had her to myself.

You're not strange at all. I had the same worry when my Dad was very serious about one of his girlfriends. She was much younger than him, so I also had the concern that he would have another family and that somehow I would get pushed out.
Anyway, enough about me. If I were you I would make getting to know him a priority. Even though it's really strange, I would ask your Mum about him, and show her how happy you are (even though it might take a bit of acting).
One caveat: how long has you Mum known him? If you ask and she is reluctant to discuss the relationship, even though the two of you are very close and discuss everything else, then that would set alarm bells ringing for me. I'm sure it's very unlikely, but I'm a great believer in intuition.

Communicate with your mum. She could be picking up your uncertainty. I don't think there is anything wrong in the way your feeling, very understandable and if you are close to your mum she will understand too. Maybe also need to acknowledge to her that you know she needs a life of her own with a new partner and you are happy she has found someone. But you are still allowed to feel upset she's no longer all your own Ask them round to yours after a chat to your mum, and get to know him as a person.

As for the short time your mum seems to have seen him for...who knows what she was thinking...she could have been worrying how you would react knowing it was a serious relationship...don't know what she's thinking till you talk to her.

And if he's not the right person...well you will still have your mum.

Speaking to your mum honestly about your feelings will bring you closer, if you don't there will be an invisible wall of unexpressed feelings between you both which could hinder your closeness in future.

shes allowed a life too.

you all grown up.

in her situation - wouldnt you want your adult children to be accomodating?

you should be trez happy for her - for if she is the fab mum you say she is - she will always be there for you.