Anyone faithful?

[herewegoagain123456]

Jesus....recently I am starting to realise that not many people are faithful or trustworthy?

I'm starting to think I should of stayed with my ex as everyone seems to cheat or message other girls it's just if they clever enough not to get found out! Which my ex wasn't!

But since I have been single....the amount of taken or married men that have messaged me is unreal!

I think I'm going to stay single forever or take my ex back....really not sure

@herewegoagain123456 I totally understand how you feel. I was hurt by an ex who I loved and trusted. He was a liar and cheat and I was left penniless and devastated. I felt that I would never love the same way again.. I was wrong! I took time, focussed on me and when I felt ready I said yes to a few dates. I am so much happier now, I am much more in love than I was before. There are good ones out there!

@Boxerbinky Thankyou! That is so nice to hear!

And yes I'm talking about men who won't tell there partner.
One asked me for a drink last night...I thought we were mates....I said that's fine Aslong as your wife is happy with it and he admitted he wouldn't tell her as he likes me!

Makes me so angry!

@WanderingLost167 and men! My husband expects the same level of commitment from me. That doesn't make us 'possessive' it is a normal construct of a marriage that you remain faithful to each other. If being in a monogamous relationship doesn't suit you, don't enter into one.

Oh, it does, I'm very possessive. But in ceejay doesn't seem to be, and I wish the wife of the man I had an affair with had a similar view

Every guy I’ve been with has lied and cheated. They don’t all act the same and they don’t all wave the same red flag.
I have lost count of the about of other people’s husbands or boyfriends who have actually tried it on with me or really overstepped the mark in terms of compliments or innuendo.
My most recent ex was my last straw really...

I should add, pretty much every woman friend I have has caught their partner in some form of cheating. Most of them choose to stay and either overlook it or ‘work through it’.

My DH is faithful, my ex wasn't so I can see why you feel like this. There are good ones out there

@famousforwrongreason this is my thoughts exactly!
Another guy I know has cheated on his partner so many times I swear his partner must know but just chooses to ignore it!

Maybe that's what I should of done

@herewegoagain123456 it's so off putting isn't it. One of my close friends felt the same a year ago, she was trying online dating for the first time and nearly lost faith. Minefield of dick pics and cheating a.holes.. hard to see the wheat from the chaff!

But... About 5 months ago though she met someone online and is very happy. The truth is you can't know someone won't hurt you, you can only establish your expectations and take a leap of faith. I'm really glad I did, my life is infinitely better for it. As I said in my first post, he (and we) is far from perfect, but we have trust, something I didn't think I'd have again.

Also his friendship group have mostly all settled down over the last 5 years we have been together. They are a generally trustworthy bunch too. Good look op xx

I would have wanted a faithful partner pre kids - although one or two slight indiscretions wouldn’t have bothered me. So long as I knew he wanted to have children with me and take care of them. Post kids - I’m off sex, so I’d definitely be open to him seeing others - so long as our children are ok.

And I haven’t got married, because I don’t really agree with it.

There was a huge sexual revolution in the 60’s and our attitudes to sex have changed significantly, yet marriage - to me - is based on ideals that may have been more relevant before this time. Viable contraception makes it far easier to have sex without consequences.

@ceejay54321 your stance that there has been a sexual revolution and so people can use protection and have sex without consequences, or choose relationships of a polygamist nature etc is fine and I'm sure suits some people. No one has to get married, no one has to have a traditional relationship as long as all parties consent etc - but if you enter into one where fidelity is an expectation and then go online looking for thrills, sex or any other extra relationship encounter, even if the passion has fizzled in your own, then that person is being unfaithful.

If they can't be faithful they should not be in a monogamous relationship because ultimately their partner will get hurt. If they can't stay in a relationship because that construct has changed - like sex has been removed, then they need to talk and work out what that means for them as a couple - even if this means they renegotiate the terms of their sexual life or separating.

The OP is not asking why some people cheat, or if monogamy or marriage are natural states. She is asking for reassurance that some people happily stay faithful because I get the impression that's what she wants. In my experience they do!

Me and Dh are faithful, 33 years

@Boxerbinky yes I do agree with you. If someone stated they will be faithful then they should! But I do think many people go into marriage with an ideal, or thinking its the ‘norm’ and what society expects them to do - and then their relationship can change significantly over time. OP was asking if anyone is faithful these days - I’m wondering why there are so many affair threads on here, and whether faithfulness can be expected of all people. It’s truly wonderful if people have a successful monogamous relationship.

I think anyone is capable of it given the right (or wrong) circumstances.
Sad but I see it all the time

I know I see it all the time too! And it makes me worry! The day we live in now people can message anyone at the drop of a hat.