What are my options?

[Kirstiesmith1234]

Been with partner for 6 years, one DS aged nearly two. Purchased a house together just over a year ago....... now he wants me and DS to leave!!! Fine, if he doesn't want the relationship, there's nothing I can do about that. But what are my options with the house? I can't quite afford the mortgage myself. He's offered us 20k to leave....... we put different amounts into the house (he put more than me) but we own the house equally. If we sell, will we get 50/50? Or will he get the larger amount as he put more in, in the first place? Any help would be great

I'm no legal expert but I think he should pay you whatever deposit you put in plus 50% of the equity

I would have thought that get back what you both put in initially plus 50/50 of any equity. So if you know the value of the house, less the deposit (of which you’d both get back your share), less the mortgage owing then whatever is left (less any selling costs - even if you aren’t selling they need to be factored in as if you were) then you split the remaining figure. Is that 20k total or is he fobbing you off?

See a solicitor. It's rarely that cut and dried.

Did either of you ring fence? How are the deeds titled? Does one of you earn massively more than the other?

When a child is involved things can get complicated.

But whatever you do, do NOT leave until you have taken legal advice.

I wouldn't settle for the amount he's said, as you might well get far more than that. He wouldn't be offering that if he didn't think that was a good deal for him.

Whatever you do, don't do it.

As PP's said, seek legal advice.

Thanks guys. I believe we're 'joint tenants' on the deeds. Nothing was ever ring fenced. I've made it clear that we're not leaving and I'm going to get legal advice to see where I stand. I'm earning around 40k and him 70k. I wouldn't be able to get a mortgage with my salary. He just about can. Which is why he thinks the ball is in his court.

If you're JT and no one ring fenced then basically what that means is that the house is '50/50' and if it's sold you'd divide the profits equally, regardless of who put in how much as a down payment.

Ring fencing would be if either of you (usually the higher depositor) protected their investment by having a legal agreement saying that each of you gets your initial deposit back then split the rest.

Definitely don't move out. His £20k offer is probably way off base.

If you cannot afford to buy him out and remortgage, then either he'll have to buy you out OR the house will have to be sold and the profits split. This can get complicated and is worth legal advice to see which is to your benefit. Do NOT make any hasty decisions.

Thanks for your help guys 😀

He wants you and his child to leave? What is he suggesting re child support and putting a roof over his child's head?
As joint tenants you would on the face of it be entitled to 50% of the equity. What is the equity worth?
Anyway, you need proper legal advice before doing or agreeing to anything.

He said he'll pay for half of the nursery fees and give me £50 a week maintenance. I would have to rent/ buy somewhere new. He's said if I can't afford to do that then he will have the child all the time as I can't afford to keep Dc safe 😢 (I don't believe he actually wants DC full time, he's out for work at least twice a week and works long days, he's never done much with DC as he works so much so has no idea about DC's routine or likes and dislikes etc). I think there would be around 150k equity if we sold the house, however he's saying he's entitled to most of that as he did put more deposit into the house in the first place than I did.

I would see a solicitor. It sounds like you are legally entitled to a lot more child maintenance than that, on the salary you have stated.

Looking at CMS calculator - he should be paying you (if he only has your DS for 1 overnight a week or less) £628 per month!!!! But that is it.

As you are married though you are also entitled to 50% of all assets and some of his pension.
How much are nursery fees?
Please get some proper legal advice!
Some solicitors offer a free or reduced rate 1st meeting.
See at least 3 to see which one you are happier with.

Do NOT move out.
How much extra did he put in compared to you.
As it's only a year it may have an impact. It may not - which is why you need legal advice asap.

Wow, he wants to kick out his wife and child..

Don't go anywhere and get legal advice

We're not married, but have been together for six years with Dc who is nearly 2. He said the maintenance fees which are 1400 a month, and he'll pay half of that..... so 700, that will be the maintenance and the £50 is just a little extra because Dc needs nappies, food etc. He did put in over double what I had put in to the house (back story, we were both buying separate houses when we met, I, on reflection stupidly didn't by my own and lived in his house and just kept my savings, however house prices went up a lot and my savings only went up a little) but I guess that doesn't mean anything legally. Just my fault for being silly.

That's a good reason for expecting 50/50. So you can afford to buy (maybe).

His saying he'll have dc is total bullshit. He's trying to scare you into accepting terms he knows are unfair.

See a solicitor ASAP. Even if you aren't married. They can advise on the house and possibly maintenance. You should also ask about a child access agreement.

Is he on the birth certificates?

Firstly don't move out, secondly do not agree to anything, thirdly see a solicitor, fourthly (is that a word) get all paperwork together, mortgage statement, his payslips etc etc, and finally go via cms for child maintenance, or at the very least understand what he should pay.

CM has nothing to do with mortgage payments, him paying childcare etc, this is the amount he pays to ensure his child has a roof over its head, clothing, food etc.

The ball is not in his court at all, he's talking bollocks, and he can't just take away your dc due to your income, or the size of your house. You will always cope and you will find a way to work and have your dc if that's what you want.

He's trying to pull the rug out from underneath you by spouting bullshit to get his own way. Take your time and know your options. Do all negotiations via mediation or a solicitor if it's easier

Thanks guys! Just going through the mortgage paperwork and it appears he has got us a 'tenants in common' and has ring fenced 105k for himself and 25k for me. I had no idea he'd done this. How could he? I guess I should have read things more but stupidly let him sort it while I was doing all child related bits. I can't believe I've been so stupid. I'd put in more than 25k but we did keep some of what I thought was our joint deposit back and buy sofas and furniture which was over 5k. But still. I'm so furious with him.

How much did you both actually put in?

You definitely need to see a solicitor OP. How much equity is in the house? I'd recommend you get three different valuations from three different estate agents.

Surely if you weren’t aware of this, that’s potentially fraud?

I had around 40k and him 110k...... not all of it went on the mortgage as some was kept back for furniture etc. I had no idea he'd done it as tenants in common, it was his friends from work who have signed to confirm the deed, but I definitely wasn't there when they signed, never even met one of the people who had signed it. And have never seen that paperwork before...... but then maybe I shouldn't have trusted him in the first place and gone through everything. I do feel tricked into it. But then maybe that's me being naive/stupid! Anyone got any recommended solicitors in the Cambridge area?

I would see solicitor as soon as possible! And don't move out at all until you have had advise. I am sure that the persons that actually purchase the property have to sing all the documents themselves not other random people, they should only witness the signature you or your partner were doing.

Your child has to have a home, you have to find out what the true paperwork says.
Be careful as when a partner wants to become an ex they at the same time can become your enemy.
good luck

Well HELL! Definitely see a solicitor.

Did you sign this paperwork? Did you sign any kind of paperwork WRT the property?

You need solicitors advice ASAP...

What a cunt, and a thief to boot. Keep your powder dry until you have seen a very good solicitor and know your exact position. It does not seem possible that he can take all that money if you did not sign to agree and also do not move out. Best wishes in getting your financial due. 20K my bit fat arse, I don't think so.