Trying to get over a crush but he's making it really difficult!

[EoinMcLovesCakeJumper]

I have a big crush on a guy I work with. For various reasons, the chief one being that he's married, nothing is going to happen between us, so I've been trying to deal with it by being polite but distant, not speaking to him about anything other than work, avoiding being around him if I can, and so on. The trouble is, he's not letting me disengage. He's always chatting away to me about what he's got up to at the weekend, films and tv, music - and asking me about myself in return. I try to give the briefest answers I can without being rude but he doesn't seem to pick up on it. He's friendly and open like this with pretty much everyone, so I don't take it to mean anything, but I can't get on with the business of getting over him when he's being nice to me! It really doesn't help that he regularly tells me about his wife, who frankly I don't want to hear about.

Any advice for politely getting him to give me some space? I should add that he's in a position of seniority over me and I do have to work with him, so I definitely have to tread carefully. Feeling this way is making me really miserable and It's taking a lot of effort to not to let it affect my work.

Sorry no idea, just friendly fist bumping as I fancy a guy who does nothin to encourage me. Y’know just polite conversation and I still fancy the fuck out of him. Really annoying.
All I can suggest is you’re politely aloof with him and hope he backs off a bit?

Solidarity! It's horrible, he just seems oblivious to my lack of input. I don't think he's deliberately encouraging me but when I'm trying to seeing "hopeful" signs everywhere, he's making it impossible.

Get yourself interested in other guys! Go online and get yourself some attention, that should sort it!

Find another job.

I'm not going to find another job! I like what I do and I'm good at it. Perhaps that wasn't an entirely serious suggestion though.

The daft thing is, I'm not really interested in having a relationship and I'm perfectly happy being single. I just want to not fancy anyone at all and get on with my usual tactic of blending into the background.

well, he's NOT trying to make it difficult for you!
He's just treating you the same way he treats everyone else!
If he treated you different/avoided you no doubt you'd then have a problem with that too and would cry 'discrimination' or such like.....and it would put him in a precarious situation as your Senior in work.

The only problem here is how YOU choose to handle your emotions/feelings.
As an adult, if you can't manage yourself at work re a simple crush then you perhaps you should look for another job...and get some counselling to see why it affects you like this.

Lots of nice assumptions about me there, monkey, thanks. I KNOW he isn't being like this on purpose to make it difficult for me. Are people not allowed to vent here about things they can't talk about in real life?

I don't think it requires counselling to work out why I'm being affected like this - it's pretty straightforward. I fancy someone who doesn't fancy me back, and I don't have the option of removing myself from him. It's hardly worthy of psychoanalysis.

Imagine he has done a big smelly poo, not cleaned the toilet after he used it and it stinks.

Or other situations that gross you out.

I think responses have been a little unfair to you thus far.
I completely understand how you are feeling.
It sounds that you are handling your feelings as best you can, in a less than desirable situation.
I can only advise you to do as you are. If you don’t need to talk to him, then don’t. Try and steer conversation towards the professional. Talking about personal stuff, interests and the like isn’t in the long run going to be helpful. It may only fuel your feelings as a posed to reducing them!
It is so very difficult, when your heart and head are at war. But if you don’t want to effect your work, you’re gonna have to ‘suck it up’.
I hope things ease for you soon.

And no... you don’t need therapy!

vegansprinkle that could work eventually. I went off a previous crush when I realised that he always did a sly little fart, just audible, at about the same time every day, a couple of hours after lunchtime. He was a really cultured, intelligent man and I thought it would take a lot to deter me, but that did it alright!

looop thank you. I'm managing ok really, there are no complaints about my work or anything. I know it will pass, I'll just have to think about his toilet habits until I go off him...

Just be really boring or talk about stuff that doesn't interest him and then he will stop talking to you.